THE figure of Christ from
the knitted Last Supper attracted a wide range of caption
suggestions from our readers. We did, however, notice a pattern:
"We woolly liberals seem to be in good company after
all" (John Saxbee); "Mabel's theology of the
eucharist was a bit woolly" (Francis Ball); "She
was confident her woolly theology would see her through the dark
knit of the soul" (Richard Barnes), and so on, all of whom
ignored the plea: "No jokes about 'woolly theology' please.
They get under my skein" (Ray Morris).
There were several
thoughtful entries, among them: "The symbolism of the Good
Shepherd being represented in wool was not lost on his
creator" (Chris Coupe); and "In his 'humanity', he
was indisputably of the same substance as his flock"
(Alison Rollin). Both entrants managed to spoil their reputation
for seriousness with their second-choice captions: "At
last, some justification for the suspect early manuscript of the
Nicene Creed, stating that Jesus was incar- nate 'from the Woolly
Spirit and the Virgin Mary'" (Alison Rollin); and
"Finally, a machine-washable Jesus" (Chris
Coupe).
Almost every entry was a
pun of some sort. The most atrocious was: "The Church of
England has brought out a new Easter kniturgy" (Adam
Pope); but others ran it a close second: "Experts
identified the relic as a venerated statuette of St Woolos of
Wales, lovingly knitted with rare coloured yarn supplied by a
devout local merchant known as Dai the Fleece" (Charles
Taylor); and "He is knit here. He is risen"
(Jonnie Parkin).
Several entries came up
short: "Behold, the hand puppet of the Lord"
(James Betteridge); "Behold, hand-made, of the
Lord" (John Saxbee); and "Halo Dolly"
(Richard Strudwick).
A number of readers came
close to the chocolate (kindly donated by Divine,
divinechocolate.com): "The leader of the knitting circle
wasn't sure whether the vicar had expressed his soft spot for Aaron
or Aran, so she covered both bases" (Ray Morris);
"Agnes's entry for the hand-made toilet-roll-cover
competition was controversial" (Steve Tilley);
"She had found a knit-one-purl-one of great price"
and "When I needled a neighbour, were you there?"
(both from Richard Barnes); and "Jesus said to Peter: 'Cast
off on the other side'" and "Do not cast on your
purls before swine" (both from Jonnie Parkin). But one
reader had the competition sewn up.
His mother had insisted: "Easter or no Easter, you are
notleaving that tomb without two thick jumpers on!"
Liz Breuilly
Have a go at our next
competition, featuring a recent scene from a Southwell barbers'
shop. Send your entry by 3 May.
