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Caption competition

by
26 April 2013

archant

His mother had insisted: "Easter or no Easter, you are not leaving that tomb without two thick jumpers on!" Liz Breuilly

His mother had insisted: "Easter or no Easter, you are not leaving that tomb without two thick jumpers on!" Liz Breuilly

THE figure of Christ from the knitted Last Supper attracted a wide range of caption suggestions from our readers. We did, however, notice a pattern: "We woolly liberals seem to be in good company after all" (John Saxbee); "Mabel's theology of the eucharist was a bit woolly" (Francis Ball); "She was confident her woolly theology would see her through the dark knit of the soul" (Richard Barnes), and so on, all of whom ignored the plea: "No jokes about 'woolly theology' please. They get under my skein" (Ray Morris).

There were several thoughtful entries, among them: "The symbolism of the Good Shepherd being represented in wool was not lost on his creator" (Chris Coupe); and "In his 'humanity', he was indisputably of the same substance as his flock" (Alison Rollin). Both entrants managed to spoil their reputation for seriousness with their second-choice captions: "At last, some justification for the suspect early manuscript of the Nicene Creed, stating that Jesus was incar- nate 'from the Woolly Spirit and the Virgin Mary'" (Alison Rollin); and "Finally, a machine-washable Jesus" (Chris Coupe).

Almost every entry was a pun of some sort. The most atrocious was: "The Church of England has brought out a new Easter kniturgy" (Adam Pope); but others ran it a close second: "Experts identified the relic as a venerated statuette of St Woolos of Wales, lovingly knitted with rare coloured yarn supplied by a devout local merchant known as Dai the Fleece" (Charles Taylor); and "He is knit here. He is risen" (Jonnie Parkin).

Several entries came up short: "Behold, the hand puppet of the Lord" (James Betteridge); "Behold, hand-made, of the Lord" (John Saxbee); and "Halo Dolly" (Richard Strudwick).

A number of readers came close to the chocolate (kindly donated by Divine, divinechocolate.com): "The leader of the knitting circle wasn't sure whether the vicar had expressed his soft spot for Aaron or Aran, so she covered both bases" (Ray Morris); "Agnes's entry for the hand-made toilet-roll-cover competition was controversial" (Steve Tilley); "She had found a knit-one-purl-one of great price" and "When I needled a neighbour, were you there?" (both from Richard Barnes); and "Jesus said to Peter: 'Cast off on the other side'" and "Do not cast on your purls before swine" (both from Jonnie Parkin). But one reader had the competition sewn up.

His mother had insisted: "Easter or no Easter, you are notleaving that tomb without two thick jumpers on!"
Liz Breuilly

 

Have a go at our next competition, featuring a recent scene from a Southwell barbers' shop. Send your entry by 3 May.

 

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