Next week's competition
Have a go at our next
caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach
us by Friday 29 November.
by email to: firstname.lastname@example.org
by post (postcards only) to:
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG
Last week's competition
THE encounter between the Archbishop of Canterbury and one of
his predecessors coincided with the 50th anniversary of Doctor
Who, as part of which several Doctors appeared on screen at
the same time.
The parallel was not lost on our readers: "Two
archbishops made guest appearances in the 50th anniversary episode
of Doctor Who" (Hannah Cleugh); "With its
being Doctor Who Week, the new Time Lord is
announced" (Wendy Hall); "The Archbishop tried to
hide his disappointment when his trip in the TARDIS failed to live
up to his expectations" (Richard Mitchell); and our
favourite: "You thought it was just a police box,
too?" (Edward Mynors).
That was not the only television reference: "The
castings for the stage production of Blackadder II were
off to a good start" (Bob Stevens).
Then there was the liturgy: "I hope you're still using
my Prayer Book?" (John Radford); on the other hand:
"You're not still using my prayer book, are you?"
(Edward Mynors); "The Prayer Book Society has interceded
with me to pester you until you reinstate my words" (Dru
Brooke-Taylor); and "(Welby to Cranmer) I think you'll like
the improvements we've made to your Prayer Book" (Rod
Clarke). Also: "Yes, I'm comfortable enough here, and I'm
still allowed to wear the old gear, but He keeps modernising the
liturgy" (David Nash).
Naturally enough, most attention was given to costume, with far
more "ruff" jokes than can be repeated here. A sample:
"When the going gets rough, the ruff has to go"
(Janet Appleby); "Yes, I know, but it was even ruffer in my
day" (Roger Knight); and "Well, Archbishops used
to like a bit of ruff" (Richard Barnes).
There was a reference to the recent blog: "Mr Wippell, I
know I find it difficult to look tidy in a clerical collar, but
this is over the top" (Roger Walker); and "'Fix
your collar, Archbishop.' 'No, you fix your collar,
Archbishop!'" (Gareth Hughes).
There was something more prosaic from Tom Keates:
"Nothing to do with theology, Archbishop. The cap stops my
head losing heat in draughty churches, and the ruff stops the
dandruff from my beard spoiling my black vestments." Also:
"The Archbishop grimaced ever so politely at the preview of
the modified episcopal vesture to be launched during Lambeth
2018" (Len Eacott); and "My brother Esau is an
hairy man, but I am a smooth man" (John Penny).
Do we forgive Giles Walter? "Well, your Grace, they
chopped my head off; and the way things are going these days, yours
may Welby the next." Probably not. This was better:
"So you think you've got problems, Justin"
Other entries: "The exhibits in Madame Tussauds were
incredibly lifelike" (Chris Coupe); "Someone
didn't read the 'Dress-down Friday' email, thought Justin, a tad
smugly" (Vicky Lundberg); "There were doubts about
the marketing department's new logo for Ancient & Modern Ltd"
(Ray Morris); and "The miniaturisation of clerical
collars was one of the triumphs of modern technology"
There were two entries each from Richard Hough: "Good
Laud, is it really you?" and "Tell me, please, did
the Pope win us back after all?" and Michael Foster:
"Archbishop Justin felt concerned that history shouldn't
repeat itself," and "The Archbishop just knew that
he was going to have a hard time explaining women
There were several more general entries, many of which showed
commendable inventiveness: "So, what else hasn't
changed?" (John Appleby); "Did you find the
welcome pack I left you at Lambeth?" (John Radford);
"Don't worry, Justin, I used to be one generation away from
extinction as well" (John Saxbee); "Medici, did
you say? We'll have to think about letting you join our banking
initiative" (Sue Chick); "We're quite a
traditional little parish, really" (George Frost); and
"The Archbishop enjoyed his first meeting with
Reform" (Andy Braunston).
But a double helping of fairtrade chocolate goes to our winning
entrant for just two of his suggestions. Thanks, as always, to
Divine (divinechocolate.com) for donating the prize