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Caption Competition

by
06 December 2013

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture. Entries must reach us by Friday 13 December.

PA

Next week's competition

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 29 November.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to:  

Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House  
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

 

Last week's competition

THE encounter between the Archbishop of Canterbury and one of his predecessors coincided with the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, as part of which several Doctors appeared on screen at the same time.

The parallel was not lost on our readers: "Two archbishops made guest appearances in the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who" (Hannah Cleugh); "With its being Doctor Who Week, the new Time Lord is announced" (Wendy Hall); "The Archbishop tried to hide his disappointment when his trip in the TARDIS failed to live up to his expectations" (Richard Mitchell); and our favourite: "You thought it was just a police box, too?" (Edward Mynors).

That was not the only television reference: "The castings for the stage production of Blackadder II were off to a good start" (Bob Stevens).

Then there was the liturgy: "I hope you're still using my Prayer Book?" (John Radford); on the other hand: "You're not still using my prayer book, are you?" (Edward Mynors); "The Prayer Book Society has interceded with me to pester you until you reinstate my words" (Dru Brooke-Taylor); and "(Welby to Cranmer) I think you'll like the improvements we've made to your Prayer Book" (Rod Clarke). Also: "Yes, I'm comfortable enough here, and I'm still allowed to wear the old gear, but He keeps modernising the liturgy" (David Nash).

Naturally enough, most attention was given to costume, with far more "ruff" jokes than can be repeated here. A sample: "When the going gets rough, the ruff has to go" (Janet Appleby); "Yes, I know, but it was even ruffer in my day" (Roger Knight); and "Well, Archbishops used to like a bit of ruff" (Richard Barnes).

There was a reference to the recent blog: "Mr Wippell, I know I find it difficult to look tidy in a clerical collar, but this is over the top" (Roger Walker); and "'Fix your collar, Archbishop.' 'No, you fix your collar, Archbishop!'" (Gareth Hughes).

There was something more prosaic from Tom Keates: "Nothing to do with theology, Archbishop. The cap stops my head losing heat in draughty churches, and the ruff stops the dandruff from my beard spoiling my black vestments." Also: "The Archbishop grimaced ever so politely at the preview of the modified episcopal vesture to be launched during Lambeth 2018" (Len Eacott); and "My brother Esau is an hairy man, but I am a smooth man" (John Penny).

Do we forgive Giles Walter? "Well, your Grace, they chopped my head off; and the way things are going these days, yours may Welby the next." Probably not. This was better: "So you think you've got problems, Justin" (Richard Strudwick).

Other entries: "The exhibits in Madame Tussauds were incredibly lifelike" (Chris Coupe); "Someone didn't read the 'Dress-down Friday' email, thought Justin, a tad smugly" (Vicky Lundberg); "There were doubts about the marketing department's new logo for Ancient & Modern Ltd" (Ray Morris); and "The miniaturisation of clerical collars was one of the triumphs of modern technology" (Richard Barnes).

There were two entries each from Richard Hough: "Good Laud, is it really you?" and "Tell me, please, did the Pope win us back after all?" and Michael Foster: "Archbishop Justin felt concerned that history shouldn't repeat itself," and "The Archbishop just knew that he was going to have a hard time explaining women bishops."

There were several more general entries, many of which showed commendable inventiveness: "So, what else hasn't changed?" (John Appleby); "Did you find the welcome pack I left you at Lambeth?" (John Radford); "Don't worry, Justin, I used to be one generation away from extinction as well" (John Saxbee); "Medici, did you say? We'll have to think about letting you join our banking initiative" (Sue Chick); "We're quite a traditional little parish, really" (George Frost); and "The Archbishop enjoyed his first meeting with Reform" (Andy Braunston).

But a double helping of fairtrade chocolate goes to our winning entrant for just two of his suggestions. Thanks, as always, to Divine (divinechocolate.com) for donating the prize

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28 November 2020
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1 December 2020
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