Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

by
13 September 2019

PA

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 20 September.

 

Here is this week’s winner:

At last, the Bishop could see where the Dean had been hiding during his sermons (Patrick Irwin)

© Bill Smith© Bill Smith

 

LET us begin with three entries from three people who each have the surname Parry (if they are members of the same family, we can only imagine what mealtimes are like):

  • Clearly, the new Bishop was being taken for a ride (Chris Parry)
  • There was concern at the cathedral that the Bishop was spiralling out of control (Alison Parry)
  • The Bishop’s eccentric behaviour gave fair grounds for concern (Mark Parry)


A picture of a bishop on a literal downward spiral couldn’t fail to generate entries along these lines:

  • Somehow, the Bishop found that the diocese made more sense when going round in circles and spiralling downwards (Jon Williams)
  • After a steady rise to the top, the Bishop suddenly found himself on a downward spiral (Mervyn Cox)
  • Even the Bishop was powerless to stop the downward spiral (Michael Watts)
  • Just like the House of Bishops, round and round in circles and ever downwards (Robert Paterson)
  • The Bishop seems to be going downhill rapidly (Mike Exell)
  • I’m not afraid of any slippery slope in the Church of England (Janet Stockton)
  • The arduous climb to the heights was worth the effort, but the slippery slope downwards was just too tempting (Jill Boal)
  • Overseeing the downhill slide (Andrew Greenhough)
  • It was not the best place for trying to argue that the Church was not on the slide (Derek Wellman)

Some thought that it was a comment on the Bishop’s preaching:

  • Unlike some of the sermons, at least this had a definite beginning and end (Richard Hough)
  • Bishop proves that frictionless dissent is the key to an electrifying sermon (Ian Barge)
  • The Bishop took the text for his sermon from Psalm 16, verse 7: ‘The lot is fallen unto me in a fair ground’ (John Radford)
  • At last, the Bishop had a pulpit worthy of his exalted message (Brian Stevenson)
  • The Bishop was preaching a gripping sermon until the law of gravity took over (June Cutting).


Others wondered about the choice of hymns:

  • Our next hymn: no. 212, ‘With wonder, Lord, we see your works’ (Janice Taylor)
  • Lo! he comes in robes descending (Michael Foster).


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • It makes a change from the greasy pole (John Saxbee)
  • Unfortunately, the new episcopal throne did not encourage him to sit still during services (Philip Belben)
  • Phone the AA. The flying Bishop is stuck halfway down (Martin James)
  • You got a faculty for that? (Jo Saunders);
  • The helter-skelter was the cause of the rising and falling of many in Norwich (Sue Chick)
  • If you really are the Bishop, throw yourself down (Janet Chapman)
  • The Bishop realised that the risk assessment had not included participants in cassocks when he heard a loud ripping sound (Vicky Lundberg)
  • The lot is fallen unto me in a fair ground (Paulette Yallop)
  • Messy Church reaches new heights (Paul Brett)
  • It makes a nice change from always having to sit on the fence with both ears to the ground (Chris Oxley)
  • Even for a Bishop’s throne, this one was pretty elaborate (Che R. Seabourne)
  • Rochester with crazy golf; Norwich with a helter-skelter — what next? A carousel in Canterbury? (Lesley Cope)
  • From under the new helter-skelter You can see a considerable welter Of gargoyles and crosses Not to mention the bosses Treating themselves to a belter (Paul Clifford)
  • Bishop: ‘Dean, remove this helter-helter skelter from the cathedral forthwith.’ Dean: ‘That is a case of funfair dismissal, my Lord’ (Bryan Gadd)

As ever, the winner receives Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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