Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 9 February.
We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Jane SigristJane Sigrist
The horse came in at 20 to 1, followed by the cleaner at 1 p.m., who tidied it up (Philip Lickley)
A SELECTION of this week’s entries:
“I’m one of the neigh-sayers on the PCC” (Michael Doe); “Fortunately, the vacuum came with a post-Yule, pre-school mule tool” (Chris Spittle); “The next hymn will be sung to Rockingham!” (Daphne Foster); “Messy Church begins preparation for the four horsemen of the apocalypse!” (Sue Chick); “Hoofering” (Helga Brandt); “It’s this predictive text, it should say HOOVER THE HOUSE!” (David Marsden); “When the Vicar says, ‘Cleanse your soul,’ and you mishear and cleansed your foal” (Caroline Kelly); “Christmas has come, Christmas has gone, but the spirit of Christmas still lives on” (Richard Strudwick); “My kingdom for a . . . vacuum cleaner” (Hebe Harris); “No, Margaret, his name is Hoover the Horse” (William Clocksin); “The rocking horse fills a vacuum in the church’s statuary” (Bill de Quick); “Preparations continue for the meeting at St Leger’s. It is expected to be a procession, owing to runners being short” (Julian Ashton); “I’m sorry, but we don’t want any neigh-sayers in our Church; so out you go” (John Saxbee); “We have a groom. Now we just need a bride” (Alison Woods).
“When I said I was feeling a little hoarse from all the dust . . . I definitely didn’t mean for this to happen!” (Kristyn Harris); “The church cleaners found a new way to brush up the Vicar’s favourite pony” (Paul MacDermott); “All God’s creatures welcome. Some may require deep cleaning” (Gavin Cowell); “Nature adores a vacuum” (Martin Kettle); “The live pets were queueing up to get their backs scratched, too” (Valerie Budd); “The prop for the Skin Horse story re-enactment needed some serious distressing” (Paulette Yallop); “When the horse sheds too much, so you take matters into your own hands” (Michelle James); “Dust to dust, and pony to pony” (Rachel Greening); “The rocking horse, spruced up and looking in its prime, and the beanbag ready for children at the midnight Christmas mass” (Dev Nallathamby); “Nothing escapes our custodian’s spring cleaning” (Chaz Griffiths).
“This is what happens when the church takes stable attendance seriously” (Scott Humm); “No more rocking in the aisles until you get your act cleaned up!” (Philip Goggin); “Dustin Hossman” (Paul Bennett); “He’s the one caught rocking in the aisles!” (Janet Stockton); “There had been so many hymns the congregation left a little ho(a)rse” (Neil Inkley); “No, Vicar, the fund is to Save the Steeple, not the Steeplechase” (Rob Falconer).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
divinechocolate.com