Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 25 August.
We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
ALAN FORSDIKE ALAN FORSDIKE
The Bishop of Fulham was unavailable; so we used these to get them to stop singing (Frank Cranmer)
A SELECTION of this week’s entries:
“Contrary to rumour, the Vicar’s toy pistol did not turn the water into wine!” (Mark Parry); “The future of quicker baptisms” (David Cloud); “Now, with yours that fires wafers and mine that squirts wine, we’ll have the administration over in a fraction of the time!” (Richard Seaton); “There was fierce competition for diocesan funding” (Julia Norman); “The Bible says ‘streams of living water’, but this is for my sermon illustration” (Michael Perry); “Eee, we’ve been given pistols and we were expecting (e)pistles!” (Paulette Yallop); “The Church Millitant à la (Anglican) mode” (Richard Strudwick); “They took ‘fight the good fight’ way too literally” (Nigel Garratt); “They were asked to do a duet, not a duel” (Bill de Quick); “If this photo appears in the Church Times, you’ll be on the receiving end of this!” (Chris Coupe); “The Archdeacons of Sudbury and Suffolk kept forgetting they weren’t supposed to smile when deputising for the Men in Black” (Rhiannon King); “We have finally found a solution for our theological disagreements” (Alan Dowen).
“We believe that the vacant see at Dunwich is worth fighting for!” (Nigel Prior); “Breaking news: The Church starts new spectacles-washing service” (Ken Wilkinson); “We’ve opted for duellist religion” (Janet Stockton); “Two colleagues find a fluid way of disagreeing agreeably” (Michael Foster); “Thou shalt not squirt . . . unless provoked!” (John Davies); “A new approach to infant baptism” (Don Manley); “They’re our new holy-water pistols: perfect for asperging, and, what’s more, with pinpoint accuracy!” (Geoffrey Robinson); “Now we know why they were so keen to sprinkle holy water at the Easter vigil!” (Jo Mash); “Water pistols ready for mass baptism of Gen Z converts” (Paul Brett); “They were to be used when church concerts had overrun” (Celia Stevenson); “The archdeacon stand-off was soon sorted when tea and cake were served!” (Lynda Sebbage); “Controversial casting for the latest addition to the Lethal Weapon series of films: Lethal Weapon: Divine intervention” (Eric Hindle)
“The name is Deacon, ArchDeacon” (Gina Robertson); “Epistles at dawn!” (John Appleby); “No, not the Goodfellas: we’re the Godfellas” (Amy Simpson); “Men in Black: protecting the earth from the scum of the universe” (Tracey Braddick); “He doesn’t know it, but I have water in mine” (Rena Plumridge); “The Dean of St Edmundsbury’s goddaughters” (Frankie Ward); “Was it Rich or was it David? One of the archdeacons had just watered down the diocesan strategy plan” (John Thackray); “In light of the financial constraints on renewing fonts, clergy have been issued with alternative baptism facilities” (Shirley Dudfield); “Fed up with being soaked at the annual church summer fête, this year’s participants are ready to fight back” (Alison Nuorto); “Be advised: a watery awakening awaits anyone dozing off during our sermons” (David Norfolk).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
divinechocolate.com