Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m, Monday 9 September.
We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Jon Craig
Avoid any clouds during the ascension, Pilot, or our return could be somewhat delayed (Geoffrey Robinson)
WE ARE sure that Bristol Cathedral carried out a full health-and-safety audit before its Dean and new Vice-Dean embarked upon this mission:
“The going up is fine, but what about the landing? When do we start praying?” (Steve Davies); “Yes, I can see what one has to do to achieve lift-off. Now, convince me that, when we want to come down, one can guide it to land safely rather than on top of a tree or in the middle of a busy motorway” (Daphne Foster)
It is no surprise that the Ascension entered some readers’ minds:
“At last! A celebration for Ascension Day” (Eunice Parry); “Well done: your Ascension Day sermon was an uplifting experience!” (Jo Mash); “The induction for the new Canon included some preparation for next year’s Ascensiontide services” (David James); “The ministry team at Great Rising liked to celebrate the Ascension in style” (Michael Foster).
Efforts by the clergy to emulate the Lord’s ascent, however, are not advised:
“Are you sure this balloon will take us to heaven?” (Eric Jones); “Last call for flight ‘Highway to Heaven’, and, in case of emergency, angel wings can be found under your seats” (Lesley Cope); “And, when you get to heaven, just pull this lever here and the Holy Spirit will flow out on all those below” (John Keeling); “The clergy had a new take on ascending to heaven” (Mervyn Cox); “When God said come up to heaven, I didn’t think it would be in a hot-air balloon” (Valerie Slatter).
A change of perspective from time to time can be a good thing:
“They were not taking a hot-air balloon to heaven; rather, more prosaically, they wanted to take a close look at the church spire and the surrounding parish” (Robin Morgan); “The clergy need to be seen by their people. They will certainly be able to see us” (Patrick Irwin).
Some other entries that we enjoyed:
“Following his commissioning, he was raised up on stilts to make overseeing easier” (Michael Doe); “Are we there yet?” (Alison Woods); “Church deals with inflation” (Helga Brandt); “Around the world in 80 tales” (Robert Shooter); “Do you think this will be quicker than the Stairway to Heaven?” (Heather Baillie); “The pair of them were determined to be awarded a Gold Eco award for the church with their new green-transportation policy for parish visits” (Richard Spray); “More hot air needed? Your Pentecost sermon should do the trick” (John Saxbee); “Do say: ‘Nearer my God to thee.’ Don’t say: ‘Basket case’” (John Appleby); “This gives a whole new meaning to a clergy awayday” (Valerie Budd); “Please be careful to avoid the Archbishop’s helicopter, as I know he’s around today” (Richard Hough); “Defying gravity — through glove and faith” (Martin Kettle); “The Festival of Preaching rises to new heights” (Sue Chick); “Yet more clergy who ‘can’t keep their feet on the ground’”(Mark Parry).
“Happy the priest who has learnt to find joy in the ups and downs of ministerial life” (Ray Morris); “When a member of the congregation offered the clergy a lift home, they didn’t expect it to be quite so literal” (Philip Lickley); “We will now sing Hymn no. 418 in Hymns Ancient and Modern: ‘Rise up, O men of God!’” (Michael Watts); “Move over, Gabriel, we’re coming up” (Andy Gomez); “Deliveroo airdrop clergy for emergency sermon” (Paul Vincent); “The clergy up, up, up and away day” (Richard Strudwick); “Well, young man. You let go of the kite string; so it’s up to you to untangle it from the weathervane on top of the spire” (Jeannie Chamberlain); “As the Canon Missioner hadn’t turned up, they decided to power the balloon in the conventional way” (Trevor Thurston-Smith — “with apologies to Jonnie Parkin”).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
divinechocolate.com