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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

by
22 November 2024

Alamy

Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m, Monday 2 December.

We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.

Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:   

The robot sign-writer is not yet in alpha-testing (John Appleby)

 

THE caption competition returns after a brief break, caused by circumstances beyond this lowly section editor’s control.

HTB was taken by most to refer to the Brompton parish behind the Alpha course, although other brands of HTB are available. Whichever HTB is referred to, rising costs appear to be hampering church marketing efforts:

“Following another busy year at Holy Trinity, Brompton, there was found to be very little budget left for new church signage” (Anthony Rice); “This year’s Alpha marketing budget at Holy Trinity, Brompton couldn’t, even stretch to a working sharpie” (Philip Lickley); “The new signage at Holy Trinity, Brompton, was a sad reminder that church finances were feeling the pinch, even in Kensington” (Jo Mash); “Holy Trinity, Billsdown, had certainly achieved their aim to reduce signage costs” (Joan Workman); Of course, it was meant to read ‘Holy Trinity, Brompton’, but the painter knew he was fast running out of paint. . .” (Valerie Ganne); “Holy Trinity, Brompton, was asked to curb its graffiti habit” (Alison Woods).

Perhaps recruiting the nation’s foremost street artist to raise the standard of comms is not a good idea after all:

“The latest Banksy has hit the buffers” (Chaz Griffiths); Banksy has lost his touch a bit” (Valerie Slatter);Banksy on an off day” (Nick Baker).

“HTB” might refer to something else entirely, of course:

Evidence that hedgehogs, toads, and badgers unite to gain travel access to the London Underground” (Helga Brandt); “Work on Canterbury Cathedral has revealed the last inscription made by Thomas Becket: Henry the Bastard” (Julian Ashton); “When you know exactly where you’re headed: HTB — Hop on, Take a Breath” (Aimee Caulfield); “Heavens to Betsy! The Bishop’s footwear choice for a royal audience was HTB: hard to believe!” (Mark Parry); “The latest Amazon delivery surprised the Revd Gabriel. The ‘HTB’ label actually transpired to be ‘Halos to boot!’ He’d only ordered six for this year’s nativity; so what was he meant to do with the other 194?” (Madeline Charlton).

Suspicions turn to the passenger nearest the graffiti:

The black trousers pointed to the culprit being a one-legged cleric” (Chris Coupe); Holy Trinity, Barchester, was noted for being haunted by a disembodied leg wearing a slipper. The apparition only appeared when the church was empty after compline” (Robin Morgan).

Some other entries for those exploring the meaning of life:

Spot the Holy Trinity, Brompton, bike stand!” (Paulette Yallop); “Just like their takeover of the rest of the C of E, HTB’s takeover of the Church Times Caption Competition started innocuously enough. . .” (John Swanson); This visitor searching for Brompton Oratory had clearly found the wrong church” (Richard Hough); Put your left leg in . . . shake it all about. . .” (Paul Brett); Welcome to the Omega Course” (John Saxbee); “With significant funding coming from the gutter press, one brand began to explore its positioning” (Samuel Ford); “I always put my foot in it where HTB are concerned” (John Radford); Kerb your enthusiasm” (Michael Doe); How many planks make a plant?” (Don Manley); “An underground route to a better place” (Richard Strudwick); “The influence of the HTB foot-soldiers can be found everywhere” (Michael Foster); Holy Trinity, Brompton, liked to keep a low profile” (Brian Stevenson); Belshazzar’s feast was interrupted for a second time by writing on the wall. Daniel’s interpretation: ‘Your numbers have withered and there will be a fresh planting from a foreign land — SW7’” (David Chamberlin); Writing’s on the wall for the C of E” (Martin Kettle); “Trying out the route to the 2024 Holy Trinity, Brompton, Kids Light Party” (Lesley Cope);The new Holy Trinity, Brompton, ordinands misunderstood the Great Commission” (Tim Robinson); Whodunnit? The first clues were revealed in the parish’s murder-mystery weekend” (Paul MacDermott); “Blimey, Archie, has it come to this? (an update on “Blimey, Nicky, has it come to this?”)” (Tim Goodbody).

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.

divinechocolate.com

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