*** DEBUG END ***

Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

02 February 2024


Have a go at our next caption competition (above)Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 12 February

Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:


Sir, perhaps you’d be interested in our new range, No. 10, to be launched in the autumn (Janet Bennett)


AS A reader pointed out, after we ran a picture of the Prime Minister (22/29 December 2023), it was only fair that, with a General Election looming, the Leader of the Opposition should be the subject of the caption competition.

Any suggestion that our readers lean to the Left is dispelled by some of the entries:

“Sir Keir Starmer liked to take his time to find the perfect cover-up” (Fiona Drinkell); “Keir gets prepared for papering over the cracks” (Angella Willis); “I’m running out of concealer for a spot of tax and spending” (Gavin Smithers); “Sir Keir has mastered the mirrors, but he needs to investigate smoke to go with them” (Richard Hough); “Keir Starmer and Labour Party policies — you couldn’t make them up!” (Mervyn Cox); “When I don’t know the answer, I make it up” (Anne Parmenter); “On reflection, maybe I shouldn’t just make up our election policies” (Gail Donaldson).

Who needs psephologists to predict the outcome of an election?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the most electable of them all?” (John Davies); “Mirror, mirror, on the stand, who’ll be PM of the land?” (Valerie Budd); “Tell me, mirror, tell me, do, come the autumn, red or blue?” (Richard Strudwick); Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best politician of them all?” (Nick Baker).

Is a No. 10 range available, should Sir Keir reach Downing Street?

“The offer was tempting, but he was really only interested in No. 10” (Joan Workman); “I was hoping you had a No. 10 range, but I can’t see one” (Daphne Foster); Keir is looking for No. 10 rather than No. 7” (Chris Coupe); A nice red in No. 10 suits me much better” (Sheena Batey); Labour is red, Tories are blue, Forget No. 7, Only 10 will do” (Bridget Scrannage); “Keir reflects on whether No. 7 would really be so much worse than No. 10” (Nigel Harris); No. 7? Raise me three and I might be interested” (Martin Kettle)

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

“Does this make me look like Prime Minister material?” (Heather Baillie); The No. 7 beautician recommended warm ivory from the colour match” (Abby May); “Read my lips!” (John Appleby); “Well, I told Corbyn I was ready to kiss and make up” (Sheila Shepheard); After a makeover for the Labour Party, time for a personal makeover” (Avril Rhodes); For now we see through a glass, darkly” (Mary Cooper); Ah, a mirror image — like MP to PM?” (John Saxbee); Starmer gets confused when party members ask him to kiss and make up with Corbyn” (Philip Lickley); He was uncertain how the Dragons’ Den would react to his suggestion of a free-floating shaving mirror” (Ray Morris); Sir Keir wondered if a spot of rouge might help win back the ‘Red Wall’ constituencies” (Philip Deane);May we hope that the words of St Paul — ‘Now we see as through a glass, darkly: but then face to face’ — resonated with Keir Starmer as he opened the new Boots store” (Vicky Deasley).

Is it three policies for the price of two?” (Brian Stevenson); “The Leader of the Opposition was reflecting on what political intrigue he could make up next” (Michael Foster); “Surely it should be No. 10!” (Liz Brammall); I’ll leave the cosmetic changes to the Tories” (Janet Stockton); “When I asked you to be Shadow Secretary, this wasn’t what I had in mind” (Pauline Williams); His critics said that Sir Keir was colourless. Now he would show them!” (Patrick Irwin); “Sir Keir was very disappointed, as he could only find No. 7, and he wanted No. 10!” (Sue Chick); Sir Keir pauses to reflect on the Seven Deadly Sins” (Pearl Davison); “Come to me. Vote Labour. And I will do the rest” (Dave Thompson); “He’s behind you!” (Geoff Davies); “A man that looks on glass, on it may stay his eye” (Michael Watts, with apologies to George Herbert); I rather hoped the electorate would have put me in a higher position, politically” (Valerie Ganne); What every car needs — a Keir view mirror” (Rob Falconer).

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.


Browse Church and Charity jobs on the Church Times jobsite


Thu 20 Apr @ 16:08
The Archbishop of Canterbury has received the specially commissioned King James Bible that will be presented to Kin… https://t.co/u8LMnSFcfV

Welcome to the Church Times


To explore the Church Times website fully, please sign in or subscribe.

Non-subscribers can read four articles for free each month. (You will need to register.)