Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m, Monday 21 October.
We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall inherit the buffet table (Paul MacDermott)
ST EDMUNDSBURY & IPSWICH’s bishops have both been good sports on this page, and both are off soon to pastures new: the Rt Revd Martin Seeley retires early next year; and Dr Mike Harrison will soon be translated to Exeter (News, 4 June).
When this picture was taken, Bishop Seeley was celebrating his 70th birthday, but news of Dr Harrison’s elevation was not yet public.
“(Mike thinks) Should I tell Martin that next week I’m to be announced by No. 10 as the next Bishop of Exeter?” (David Lamming); “’Ere, Farva, did I tell you I made the cut for Exeter? Yes, you did, I’m retiring; so I’m not cheesed off!” (Paul Hambling).
It is clear that both will be missed in the diocese:
“We in Suffolk know that our bishops are a cut above the rest” (Lorna Brook). Adulation stops short, however, of crediting them with miraculous powers: “We’re never going to feed the 5000 with portions that size” (Elisa Cartwright); “There’s enough here to feed the whole Synod, if not exactly 5000” (Patrick Irwin); “So, Bishop Martin, how do you plan to feed the 5000 with this little lot?” (Lynda Sebbage).
Careful what you wish for for your birthday:
“The birthday cheeses were a gift fromage on high, but he was making a pickle of cutting them” (Kelley Parker); “He’s holding two fingers down. That’s not a good sign. But he may lose one!” (Julian Ashton); “I didn’t say I wanted a big cheese: I said service has been a breeze. Honestly, go to Specsavers” (Lorna Bradley); “This is taking multi-tasking a bit too far” (Margery Roberts).
But is the brand of cheese on brand?
“Well now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s see what he’s going to choose next from this feast of goodies. . . Is it . . .? No, it’s not. . . He’s avoided the Stinking Bishop, after all. . .” (Geoff Baguley); “It was a delicious feeling to put the knife in with a Stinking Bishop joke!” (Marjorie Warner); “Stinking Bishop cheese had nothing on my entry this year, thought Bishop John as he looked on as it was cut” (Vicky Deasley).
Some other entries that we enjoyed:
“As always, bishops at the cutting edge” (Michael Doe); “Matured with age, well-preserved, tastefully dressed — and the cheese looks good as well” (John Saxbee); “More cheese, Gromit?” (Pauline Lamming); “Doesn’t look like Cropwell, Bishop, to me” (Michael Piret); “You whistle and I’ll sing it” (Fiona Drinkell); “Amazingly, no one on the General Synod objected to the Bishops’ proposals concerning the Linen in Love and Faith process” (David Hill); “The vicar blamed the bad phoneline as ‘celebrate Jesus’ was heard as ‘celebrate cheeses” (Philip Lickley); “You have three minutes left to remove the pips from the strawberry” (Bill de Quick); “I should hang on to that sharp knife: it will be useful for all the DIY jobs lined up for you” (Richard Hough); “Purple vest. Black vest. Harvest” (John Appleby); “We need to make episcopal cuts” (Janet Stockton); “It’s easier dissecting diocesan directives than this fruit” (Chris Coupe); “The vicar’s weekly vetting of foodbank donations had become a hilarious comedy routine” (Mark Parry); “I wonder if the author of the psalm with ‘three-score years and ten’ in it had to do this” (Eunice Parry); “Have you remembered the container for this collection of free gifts?” (Eunice Owens) “Well, everyone, the Bishop is making good progress here, preparing for his stint on MasterChef” (Peter Sebbage); “We may be about to find out what goes into Bishop’s Finger ale” (Martin Kettle); “Well, somebody’s getting two fingers . . . and I don’t mean of whisky” (Rob Falconer); “The Bishop was about to make a public apology that he had forgotten to bring the candles” (Michael Foster); “Bishop Chutney was announced as winner in the condiment section” (Brian Stevenson); “The Diocesan Cutting Edge Initiative has been variously interpreted in the parishes” (Don Manley); “Clerical big cheese cuts big cheese” (Paul Vincent); “While the birthday boy opens his presents, I should just like to make it clear that neither his nor my wardrobe was gifted by the Lord” (Mervyn Cox).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
divinechocolate.com