Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 18 April
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Twitter/Downing StreetTwitter/Downing Street
PM heads to port for the first time since his last boozy lockdown party (Philip Lickley)
THIS Prime Minister (like many before him) has a reputation for changing course: “You might like to take the opportunity to practise a U-turn” (Richard Hough); “Careful, Prime Minister. That’s the U-turn digital control, with no manual override” (Ian Barge); “I’m sorry, Prime Minister, but there are no U-turn controls on this boat” (Ken Wilkinson); “Drive it as you do the Ship of State, Prime Minister: push the right lever to full speed ahead, pull the left to full astern and you’ll make a great U-turn!” (Charles Taylor).
Safe to say that the Met won’t investigate parties out in the sea? “I love playing the decks at a party! This is the volume, right?” (Francesca Walker); “You’re sure I won’t get a fixed penalty notice?” (Irene Murdoch); “Careful, Sir — unlike No. 10, we’ve no third-party insurance” (John Saxbee); “Someone obviously forgot the cheese and wine at this royal navy party” (Jeanette Leighton); “Where’s the launch party?” (Brian Stevenson); “We’d like to name her Partygate, Sir, in your honour’’ (Don Manley); “Neville wondered how to tell the PM the levers did not let off party poppers” (Vicky Deasley); “No parties on the bridge, OK?” (Patrick Irwin); “Which lever is it for the champagne?” (Sheri Darby).
All on board were confident that the man in the driving seat knew what he was doing: “The crew looked on anxiously as Boris’s eyes lit up and his hands moved ever nearer to the ‘command-to-dive’ lever” (Sue Chick); “Not that lever Prime Minister, it would have us heading for Russian waters” (Lesley Cope); “I’m sure that chap back there said that this is the anchor” (Fiona Drinkell); “And the big red button I’ve just pressed is for coffee, right?” (Rob Falconer); “Not that one, Prime Minister! That’s the nuclear button” (Peter Potter).
Some other entries that we enjoyed: “Will nobody rid me of this meddlesome Prime Minister?” (Daphne Foster); “A bridge over troubled waters” (Cecilia Stevenson); “With both hands on deck, he was saved from the waves around him” (Patsy Cann); “So if I push this, the electricity bills of the common people will rise substantially” (Emma Middleton); “Who said my left hand didn’t know what my right hand was doing?” (Marion Iris Tanner); “Don’t worry, I am in control of inflation” (George Johnson).
“How many Prime Ministers does it take to switch on the lights?” (John Radford); “Is there a lever to steer away from peril on the polls?” (Alison Woods); “My desk has a lever just there for ejecting difficult ministers” (John Appleby); “And this one levels up?” (Valerie Budd); “The captain was very concerned about the PM’s reputation for being all at sea” (Michael Foster); “All at sea — as usual” (Brenda Stone); “The PM went to great lengths to demonstrate he was still in the driving seat” (Nick Baker); “The good ship Britannia was on a safe passage until the Prime Minister took control” (Mark Parry); “And this is my favourite backspin: ‘Bridge over troubled waters’. . .” (Joan Workman); “If I push this handle hard enough, will it prevent the ship sinking?” (Valerie Stokes); “Prime Minister, it is impossible to over-ride a lie detector” (Nicholas Varnon).
“To be honest, I think this organ stool you’re using is too low” (Jonathan Jeffery); “This is even more fun than driving that JCB!” thought Boris, as they headed for the iceberg” (Philip Deane); “Hair we go then” (Paul Brett); “And you’re sure this isn’t a lie detector?” (Michael Doe); “Boris taking his turn on the rota for sound desk” (Lorna Fraser); “So I just pull this lever and the country turns even more to the right?” (Tom Page); “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul” (Alistair Bolt); “No, Prime Minister, I am afraid that you cannot launch Poseidon missiles at EU Headquarters” (Stephen Disley); “I, too, work in mysterious ways” (Robert Shooter); “As you can see, any fool can steer this ship” (Colin Fielding).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com