Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to firstname.lastname@example.org by 9 a.m., Monday 16 May
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Here’s the church and here’s the steeple But I need votes: come on, you people! (Michael Doe)
THE outcome of the local elections will be clearer by the time most people read this. Will the religious vote have made a difference? “Roses are red, daffodils are not, find the right Labour flowers, and don’t take that shot!” (Philip Lickley); “What do you mean ‘Boris is already inside trying to win votes’? Taxi!” (Jonny Elvin); “Sir Keir Starmer, an avid Star Wars fan, tries to turn daffodils into red roses by saying, ‘May the 4th be with you’” (Paul Emmerson); “Our party is blooming” (Janet Stockton); “Opposition leader hopes policies that stem from his party will blossom” (Denis Metrustery); “I thought everything was to come up smelling of roses” (Steve Ford).
And will the results have been a death knell for Boris Johnson’s premiership? “Hi, Boris. Are you down there after another cheese and wine party?” (Alison Woods); “Boris must repent about Partygate and the Rwanda solution and spring clean his heart at confession” (Dev Nallathamby); “Bye, bye, Boris, Boris, goodbye” (Brian Davies); “Sir Keir has a spring in his step” (Patrick Irwin); “He has got only five more parties to explain” (Colin Fielding).
Some were not sure whether this was the right photo op for a Labour leader: “The locals were no shrinking violets when it came to laying on a colourful welcome for the party leader — though they mistakenly thought he was Lib Dem” (Roly Cobbett); “Beautiful flowers, but they always remind me of the Lib Dems” (Richard Hough); “So much yellow and not an SNP member in sight” (Chris Coupe).
Some other entries that we enjoyed: “Sir Steer Calmer determined to show the Welsh what his Word’sworth” (Ian Barge); “St Botolph’s new range of political garden gnomes failed to attract the passers-by” (Nick Baker); “Sir Keir always acknowledged the daffodils after church. He felt it helped him to stand out” (Derek Reed); “OK, but where would we politicians be without toiling and spinning?” (Martin Kettle); “Keir didn’t just talk to his flowers, he preached at them!” (Mark Parry); “The new church electoral-roll officer reported for duty (Brian Stevenson); “I wandered lonely as a cloud, then realised it’s because I’m becoming narcissistic” (Julian Ashton); “Hail the day that sees him rise — it’s a blooming miracle!” (John Saxbee); “Welcome to Lilliput — smaller parish share and upkeep, but damn hard to find a vicar” (Vicky Deasley); “I wandered out one fine spring day To see the daffs along the way. They weren’t in our church here, I fear, With Easter oh so late this year!” (Don Manley); “Even disguising the surveillance camera as a daffodil didn’t stop parishioners thumbing their noses at it” (Philip Belben).
”Five! It must have been a good sermon. Last week he gave him only three fingers” (Ray Morris); “Ah! That’s where the PM hid my Easter egg” (Lynda Sebbage); “Keir enjoying a ‘Wordsworthian’ moment, ‘dancing with the daffodils’ — even though they’re yellow and not red” (Lesley Cope); “The ‘daffy’ Dean acquired his nickname because, among other things, he had the habit of blessing the spring bulbs and wishing the flowers Happy Easter” (Mervyn Cox); “Not a bad effort, but the thumb needs to be touching the nose” (Derek Wellman); “Consider the flowers of the field, they do not spin or sew. Even Sir Keir in all his splendour was not arrayed as one of these” (Richard Spray); “Diocesan Chancellor orders the removal of ‘inappropriate’ gnome from churchyard” (Bryan Gadd); “A host of golden daffodils came out to hear St Armer preach — which was an improvement on no crowd at all — and lo, they bowed their heads as he raised his hand in benediction” (From a new dictionary of Labour Hagiography, as yet unwritten) (Charles Taylor).
“A heavenly host of golden daffodils” (Pearl Davison); “Priest’s aspiring Easter miracle blessed with self-raising flowers” (David Stolton); “Please don’t pick me, I am too young” (Brian Lickley); “Mr Starmer tried to allay fears that he was becoming narcissus-tic” (Rob Falconer); “If only it were a Banksy . . . we could have done with the money to repair the church roof” (Madeline Charlton)
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com