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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

25 February 2022


Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 7 March

Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:


I have a Will and you have a Way (Michael Doe)

PLENTY of speculation this week at what had caused the Duchess of Cambridge to laugh: “Jane asked Kate if William helped with the washing-up” (Sue Chick); “The Duchess of Cambridge was astonished to learn the identity of the next Dean of Canterbury” (Patrick Irwin); “They were both enjoying the latest joke about disestablishment” (Michael Foster); “I told you she’d be ticklish!” (Anne Parmenter); “Kate thought it hilarious when it was suggested that she should wear a T-shirt with the logo ‘I love Meghan’” (Mervyn Cox); “It’s the way you tell ’em, Your Highness. . .” (Jenny Veasey); “Kate, the Bishop’s sermon wasn’t that funny!” (Lynda Sebbage); “And how the Duchess laughed when her fashion adviser modelled her next Christmas Day church outfit” (Rachel Ford); “Have you heard that Harry and Meghan believe that they will be the next King and Queen of the UK?” (Ged Jarvis); “The cook’s joy of the Lord had an infectious effect on the Duchess of Cambridge, but was she up to apron-wearing?” (Lesley Cope).

A collateral benefit of visiting charities is chancing on gift ideas for one’s other half (or in-laws): “Do you think your husband would like an apron, too?” (Chris Coupe); “Yessss! I’ve sold another apron!” (Alison Woods); “Yes! The Duchess is putting in an order for our new aprons!” (Eunice Parry); “Kate thought a shirt like this would be the ideal birthday present for Meghan” (Richard Hough).

Some other entries for your amusement: “Duchess of Cambridge, English Ladies rugby coach, unveils ‘divine sponsorship’ in her bid to take on and defeat the Saracens” (Ian Barge); “And one day he’ll be Supreme Governor of the C of E” (Richard Gooding); “Will you be my assistant?” (Gill Richards); “However noble the cause, the Duchess couldn’t be persuaded to wear a slogan on her apron” (Jonathan Haigh); “I love your apron. I wonder if I could get a T-shirt like it — but I wonder if I dare wear it next Christmas at Sandringham church” (John Hutchinson); “There was room for only one king on her apron — but always room for a duchess” (Tammy Tudor).

“You can have Gabriel Jesus! I just love N’Golo Kanté; he’s such a beautifully creative player, at the heart of the Chelsea midfield” (Julian Ashton); “‘So do I,’ quipped the Duchess, ‘so long as it’s the Cambridge college and not the other place!’” (John Saxbee); “There is joy as the second-in-line to the throne is first-in-line for the washing-up” (Philip Lickley); “Does yours say ‘I love William’?” (Janet Stockton); “Kate has finally been persuaded that being married to the head of the Church of England might be fun” (Avril Forrest); “It was all thumbs and smiles as the Duchess and her friend practised their hitching technique for the Highway to Heaven” (Paul MacDermott); “We have decided to enter the Queen’s Platinum Cake competition” (Brian Stevenson); The Great British Bible and Bake Off gets the royal seal of approval (Louise France); “Laughter is where the heart is” (Richard Strudwick); “To some people, religion is just a joke, but you’ve got to see the funny side” (Roger Bufton).

“I’ve spent all day cooking them, and you don’t like duchess potatoes. . .” (Rob Falconer); “It was all going so well for Jayne, until her mum’s glacial voice carried across the room: ‘I always said she was too good for that Brad Pitt’” (Mike Clayton); “When you asked me to comment on Queen Consort, I thought you were talking about Freddie Mercury and his group” (Dave Thompson); “When asked if she loved Jesus as well, Kate replied ‘Yes, I’m rather fond of Stilton.’ Then she realised. . .” (Don Manley); “Me, too: Cheddar is my favourite” (Brian Davies); “I know I love Jesus, but you’ve got my thumbs-up as well” (Richard Spray); “I disagree — it’s not red. . . I have a colour chart in my bag. . . If you just let me. . .” (Lorna Bradley).

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com


Wed 06 Jul @ 20:55
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