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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

11 March 2022

Yorkshire Pics/Alamy

Have a go at our next caption competition (above)Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 21 March

Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:


Thou shalt not have false I dolls (Anne Parmenter)

IT IS difficult to see the Pope’s expression, but our readers detect some excitement: “Oh look, it is Mini Me!” (Brian Davies); “Got myself a talking, walking, sleeping, living doll . . . and it even sings the Angelus” (Nick Baker); “Well, yes, I suppose he does look a bit like me” (Valerie Ganne); “So, if I press this button it will sing the Benedictus for me? What a lovely gift! Thank you so much” (Daphne Foster); “Hallelujah, a little me!” (Michael Watts); “Oh bless me, my doppelgänger!” (Paulette Yallop); “Papa poupée!” (Joan Workman).

But did the gift contain a hidden message? “Are you suggesting that my papacy is now diminished?” (Janet Stockton); “As for many of us, it was time for the Pope to downsize!” (Sue Chick); “You are OK: I promise you it is not a voodoo doll” (Leslie Evans); “Pope Francis was not accustomed to being belittled” (Michael Foster); “A healthy decentralisation” (Paul Brett); “It reminded the Pope that it was time to downsize” (Brian Stevenson).

Some other entries that we enjoyed: “I also had a statue of Thomas Cranmer, but unfortunately it was burned” (Patrick Irwin); “Dr Evil may have had Mini-Me, but Pope Francis has the Mini-See” (Paul Lodge); “Curia-ser and curia-ser, thought Francis” (John Appleby); “‘Dancing Francis’ available in all good gift shops” (Fiona Drinkell); The announcing of the winners of the first annual ‘Popes’ lacked the suspense of the longer-running ‘Oscars’ (Philip Lickley); “In the Vatican’s Spring Sale everything was reduced” (Michael Doe); “Does he do the Vatican Tango?” (Roly Cobbett); “No, you won’t get an indulgence for holding it; but if I held it, I would get self-indulgence” (Julian Ashton); “I assure you, my child, that this doll is not infallible, but it may be flammable” (John Radford); “The papal optician did suggest the possible onset of double vision” (Richard Strudwick); “And just how many of these do you want me to bless?” (Chris Coupe); “So, you see, my child, how resort to war belittles us all” (John Saxbee); “Yes, of course I’ll bless it, as long as you promise faithfully not to stick pins in it” (Ray Morris).

“Honey, I shrunk the Pope” (Maree Foster); “We thought you would be happier if he spoke Spanish rather than Italian” (J. R. Hough); “He’s got the whole world in his hands, but I now have myself in my hands!” (Tammy Tudor); “The Mattel rep would stop at nothing to get the Pope’s blessing for Pope Ken” (Vicky Deasley); “Thank you — please send to Putin and tell him God is watching” (Jayne Ozanne); “The Pope was delighted to be able to bless himself for a change” (Mervyn Cox); “It’s a special one-off, Your Holiness and, what’s more, it glows in the dark!” (Geoffrey Robinson); “Would you please remove that pin from the knee! I’ve had to cancel some appearances because of the pain” (Denis Metrustery); “Here, have this, he hasn’t got eagle eyes, but he has got healing hands” (Rena Plumridge); “I always said that a little religion was very uplifting” (Allan Dixon); “Just light the wick — and pray!” (Peter Sebbage); “Send in the clone. . .” (Chris Stone); “Here’s a spare — just in case you need a day off” (Lynda Sebbage); “These can be bought with or without pins” (Ray Goode); “Honey, you’ve shrunk the Pope!” (Janet Chapman); “Action Man! Who, me?” (Tim Robinson); “Ken’s clothes are gender-neutral, Your Holiness — they fit Barbie as well” (Charles Taylor); “. . . and if you press this little button here, it plays a tune and gives a blessing” (Philip Deane); “He was concerned that his new body double would fool no one” (Stephen Disley); “Pope Francis blesses the miniature he has commissioned to undertake the inaugural papal tour to Lilliput” (Paul MacDermott).

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com


Wed 06 Jul @ 22:39
“I do not want us to lose a formal and recognised place for faith in our national life. It provides a crucial under… https://t.co/s9iubNpvjY

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