Have a go at our next caption competition (right) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!
Send your entries by email only to email@example.com by 9 a.m. on Monday 19 July.
Here is the winning entry for last week:
He was momentarily flabbergasted when the children greeted him in their usual manner: “Good morning, Father” (Alison Rollin)
THE Prime Minister’s visit to St Issey C of E Primary School, in Cornwall, gave him a chance to explain his policies to a younger generation:
- Trying to raise some enthusiasm in the children, Boris pointed out the direction of Iceland and told them it’s one of our ‘Special Deal’ countries and home to lots of birds, including the ‘red-throated loon’. (Lesley Cope)
- The children were enthralled to hear how Boris conquered Covid-19 and the EU simultaneously and single-handedly (Michael Foster)
- Can anyone tell me a solution to the Northern Ireland border question? (Richard Hough)
- And, by the time you’re my age, you’ll see the benefits of Brexit (John Appleby)
- And then a giant eagle swooped down and stole all the money we’d saved by Brexit (David McEvoy)
- Now, kids, let me demonstrate exactly what we mean by triangulation (Ian Barge)
- My government’s following a world-beating money-tree policy where the sky’s the limit (Ray Morris).
Those with political ambitions take note:
- This is how high you can get in politics before you’re found out (Chris Coupe)
- Hands up who would like to be Prime Minister when we grow up (Mervyn Cox)
- Boris meets members of his junior cabinet (Bill de Quick)
- . . . and when you grow up, you can tell porkies this big (Frank Willett).
It seems that the children might have been expecting another VIP visitor:
- The children felt disappointed. ‘I thought the man was going to be a real clown’ (Donald Wetherick)
- The head teacher said a real Wally was coming to school today. Where is his stripy jumper and hat? (Bob Cooper)
- One disgruntled little girl was expecting a story, not a Tory (Paulette Yallop)
- Mummy said he’s important. I’m bored. When’s Messy Church? (Christopher Whitmey).
Some other entries that we enjoyed:
- I know the loos at camp are basic, but, really, the chain should be here! (Geoffrey House)
- All those who like me raise your hand (Peter Walker)
- He may have married as a Catholic, but the PM raised his hand in the air and belted out the camp-fire chorus like a true Evangelical (Charles Taylor)
- The youngsters weren’t sure Boris was going to gain his woodcraft badge, as his cooking skills weren’t up to much (Sue Chick)
- As dinner goes cold once more, Boris explains how he doesn’t like firing anything, as he expects a resignation first (Philip Lickley)
- I could do with one of those things you’ve got on your heads. Carrie says I need to keep my hair under control (Peter M. Potter)
- Suffer the little children. . . (Bridget Swan)
- Yes, you may leave — quickly and quietly (Janet Stockton)
- Double, double, toil and trouble (Robert Shooter)
- Look at those flying pigs! (Brenda Stone)
- Don’t know the correct answer, kids? Worry not. Put your hand up like this — and say a load of gobbledegook! I always do it (Mark Parry)
- Boris was telling them about Mount Sinai and the giving of the Ten Commandments, which he hoped they were following (Brian Stevenson)
- Boris’s catch-up classes over the summer were not universally popular (Vicky Deasley)
- The excuse for the marshmallow shortage was not going down well (Toby Beresford)
- OK, kids, I think we’ve been sitting on the naughty step long enough — let’s get out now (Lynda Sebbage)
- Please, Miss, may I be excused? (Richard Strudwick)
- Hands up all those who think I’m telling the truth (Michael Doe)
- Put your hands up if you’re going to vote Conservative when you grow older (Steve Davies).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.