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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

08 January 2021


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 18 January.


Here is the winning entry from last week:  

St clement’s, Chorlton-cum-hardySt clement’s, Chorlton-cum-hardy

Following the star didn’t work; so I shall just have to refer to Google Maps (Carol Abson)


EVEN Santa Claus was not exempt this year from the necessity of remote working, it seems:

  • Thanks to modern technology, Santa can self-isolate at home whilst still zooming around the world on Christmas Eve (Mervyn Cox)
  • But I’ve been zooming for years! (John Appleby)
  • The Church of England wasn’t the only organisation which had to resort to online services in 2020 (Michael Foster)
  • Santa was ready to zoom if Rudolph was prepared to host (Brian Stevenson)
  • The idea of Zooming into Santa’s Grotto just didn’t have the same appeal (Lynda Sebbage)
  • Usually, I zoom through the skies on a sleigh pulled by reindeer. . . (Chris Goble)
  • Santa was grateful not to do all the travelling over Christmas, but the virtual sherry and mince pies were just not the same (Vicky Deasley)
  • I’m working from home now. Trouble is, the screen keeps freezing (Geoffrey Robinson)
  • If you promise virtually to be a good boy, I’ll give you virtually a scrumptious bar of chocolate (Patrick Irwin)
  • Santa, you’ve frozen — it must be cold in the North Pole! (John Radford).


It’s reassuring to hear that the Chancellor’s furlough scheme extends to the North Pole:

  • Sorry, everyone, but I’ve had to furlough my reindeer (Janet Stockton)
  • If I press the ‘send’ key, I’ll have to put Rudolph on furlough (Peter Sebbage)
  • Sorry if I missed anyone this year. Half of my helpers were on furlough, there was a shortage of reindeer feed, and, to cap it all, there was no Zoom at the inn (Richard Spray).


The UK’s new relationship with the EU might have had some unexpected consequences:

  • Just checking, Mr Frost. Are there exemptions for reindeer in the Brexit Pet Movement Protocol? (Ian Barge)
  • Oh dear, Regulation 2163 para. 7 of the EU Deal means a separate customs declaration for each chimney (Ray Morris) .


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • The things you’ll do for an apple! (Ann Lewin)
  • Incredibly, Adam’s laptop was still working (Avril Forrest)
  • Sorry, can’t cope with a multitude of the heavenly host yet (Richard Hough)
  • Oh dear! Santa’s grotto due to open in ten minutes, and I’m still trying to finish my sermon for tomorrow. Why did I volunteer? (Daphne Foster)
  • They moved into the stable as there was no Zoom at the inn (Michael Doe)
  • Santa opted for laptop rather than Lapland (Chris Coupe)
  • With Santa’s elf isolating, thank goodness for click and collect! (John Saxbee)
  • Unmute your elf (Valerie Budd)
  • Santa checks if reindeer have herd immunity (Bryan Gadd)
  • Back from Lapland — on to the laptop! (Alison Parry)
  • Santa found his apple inside the foot of a Christmas stocking (Mark Parry)
  • Santa reassuringly tweets . . . Christmas still rules — Oh! Oh! Oh-k! (Richard Strudwick)
  • The Old and the New Testaments for this abundantly bearded Santa: Eve’s ‘Apple’ and the appropriately timed ‘Star in the East’ of the Magi (Lesley Cope)
  • How odd! All the senior clerics are after some sort of skin protector (Philip Goggin)
  • All these folk who want me to encourage them by leading the daily Office, and then complain that they can’t hear my my voice (Roger Knight)
  • What do you mean, there are no delivery slots left? I’ve got a priority pass! (Wendy Jackson)
  • There’s definitely no sanity clause (Robert Shooter)
  • I take your point, Bishop, but it takes my mind off the dreary Laura Ashley curtains (Martin Kettle)
  • Dear Professor Dawkins, Thank you for your email to me this year. . . (Gary Dench)
  • Everyone used to believe in me. Now I have to apply for universal credit (Richard Martin)
  • Father Nicholas hadn’t noticed he was still wearing his outfit from the virtual Christmas Fair before tuning in to Zoom midnight mass (Sue Chick).


As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. www.divinechocolate.com

Forthcoming Events

20 September 2021
Online book launch: Black, Gay, British, Christian, Queer
Author Jarel Robinson-Brown in conversation with Rev. Winnie Varghese.

25 September 2021
Festival of Faith and Literature: Food for the Journey
With Stephen Cottrell, Peter Stanford, Lucy Winkett, and Rowan Williams.

More events

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