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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

06 August 2021

The Mary Rose Trust

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate! 

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 16 August.

Here is the winning entry for last week: 


At last, a Prince prepared to get himself to a nunnery (John Saxbee)

NEWS of the Prince of Wales’s dancing talents came as a surprise to us:

  • My habit is dancing (John Paul Boner) 
  • Auditions for Strictly have started; just follow me, ladies (Heather Hyde)
  • Ladies, would any of you care for a dance? (Sheri Darby)
  • You put your right foot in. . . (Wendy Atkins)
  • Who would like to be my partner in the next season of Strictly? (Abby May) 
  • It’s just a jump to the left and then a step to the right (Samantha McGinty)
  • The costumes for Strictly Come Dancing had to be very different this year, when the Prince of Wales agreed to take part (Vicky Deasley)
  • I’ve been practising the waltz; please can I be Captain Von Trapp? (Rena Plumridge)
  • One does the hokey-cokey and one turns about (Julian Ashton).

The demands of royal duties, however, might mean that he is out of practice:

  • Prince Charles tried to show them his best moves, but he was out of the habit (Victoria Prince)
  • I’m a novice at dancing (Bill de Quick)
  • I know my ‘Timewarp’ ladies — I’m sure it’s a step to the left (Fiona Drinkell)
  • Is this what they mean by line dancing? (Sheena Batey)
  • His demonstration of the hokey-cokey caused nothing but puzzlement (Stephen Disley).

An insight into film nights at Clarence House?

  • Ah, yes, the Sister Act thing. Like this? (David Reeves)
  • Where’s Whoopi? (Michael Gill)
  • Sister Act? No problem — it’s the brothers who cause problems. . . (John Swanson)
  • Whoopi Goldberg couldn’t make it for the Sister Act rehearsal; so asked me to stand in (Leesa Collins).

Some other entries that amused us:

  • My previous backing group was the Three Degrees, but global warming has caused an increase of a couple of degrees (Lorna Owens)
  • So, you’re sure that’s the way to Nuneaton? (J. Halliday)
  • Oh, you were expecting the other Prince (Malcolm Butterworth)
  • Do you pray here often? (Patrick Irwin)
  • I can do a mean air guitar to ‘Stairway to Heaven’ (Tracy Astwood)
  • Prince Charles’s efforts to teach the nuns the ‘Lambeth Walk’ didn’t seem to be working (Sue Chick)
  • One doesn’t see a nun for ages, then five come along altogether! (Julie Doré)
  • As the ladies-in-waiting were not available to help at the Prince’s garden party, the Sisters were willing to serve (Celia Stevenson)
  • The Prince wanted to know if they had climbed Snowdon for their Duke of Edinburgh Award (Brian Stevenson)
  • I thought the penalty shootout was a bit unfair (Robert Shooter)
  • Is it this way to the costume-changing room? (Peter Walker)
  • One wonders if you might be able to recommend a silent order for one’s American daughter-in-law to join (Charles Taylor)
  • He hadn’t been able to recognise anyone from this police identification parade (Richard Hough)
  • The Sisters were not in the habit of responding to an invitation to dance by royalty (Michael Foster)
  • My apologies: I said only one ‘Hail Mary’, as I forgot the other four Sisters’ names (Evelyn Masson)
  • Bad Habits’ quintet audition for a new heir-guitarist (Paul Groom)
  • I thought you said ‘Going on vacation’, Camilla, not ‘vocation’ (Stephen Murphy)
  • Are you auditioning for The Sound of Music(John Heath)
  • Charles always stopped for a chat. Force of habit? (Mark Parry)
  • And what do you do? (Mark Wallace)
  • When one is Defender of the Faith, one hopes to bring some liturgical dance into the coronation service (Christopher Wain)
  • So, you’re all singing, and I turn as Maria enters stage right. . . (Esther Platten)
  • Might one have the next dance? (Richard Strudwick)
  • If we sway this way first (Claire Driver).

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.


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