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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

01 November 2021

Facebook/Archbishop of Canterbury

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Tuesday 9 November. This caption competition will be published in the 5 November print edition of the Church Times. Due to unforeseen circumstances, it had to be held over from the 29 October print edition.

Here is the winning entry for last week: 

Julian SharpeJulian Sharpe

We know some Hebrew — but you know your tea brew! (Mark Parry)

THIS week’s picture lends itself to so many puns, we could fill the whole page with them — but we won’t. Here are a selection, though:

  • I hope this kind gift reflects my cosy relationship with you, and not that you think me potty (Ray Morris)
  • Sometimes I feel a little potty (Robert Shooter)
  • When the Bishop began to sing to a tea cosy, the congregation knew he had gone potty (Nick Baker)
  • While preaching a storm in a teapot, who said empty kettles make most noise? (Paulette Yallop)
  • And a warm welcome to the Archbishop of Canteabury (Steven Grummett)
  • No point cosy-ing up to him, Father. Bishop Glyn is retiring in January (Clive Smith)
  • It’s a cosy life as a bishop (Sadie Godiva)
  • They were all delighted that the new Bishop of Lilliput fitted the role to a tea (Paul MacDermott)
  • It was the Bishop to a T (Bridget Swan)
  • All faith leaders spout the word, and the word is tea (Sue Cobley)
  • Much had been spouted from the guest preachers over the years, but tea was a first (Philip Lickley)
  • What were you saying about the Holy Trini-tea, Vicar? (Alison Woods)
  • He was pleased that this mini-bishop still had a big spout (Jane Hough).


Some variations on a children’s song we all (well, most of us of a certain generation) know and love:

  • All together now: ‘I’m a little teapot, short and stout’ (Julie Doré)
  • I’m a little teapot, short and stout, close my eyes, I’m devout (Amanda Coffman)
  • The others didn’t know the words to ‘I’m a little teapot, here’s my spout. . .’ (Valerie Budd)
  • Splendid. I’ve always wanted ‘a little tea pot short and stout’, and now a bishop to boot! (Lesley Cope).


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • More tea, Vicar? (Michael Watts)
  • If I hear one more parishioner joke, ‘More tea, Vicar?’ (Alison Nuorto)
  • He was thrilled: a teapot and cosy of his very own. Now he could be the one to offer ‘more tea’ (Alison Rollin)
  • The Bishop was small in stature, but easily became heated (Patrick Irwin)
  • The gift wasn’t totally tactless — it may have been little, short, and stout, but at least it wasn’t a chocolate teapot (Charles Taylor)
  • Tea: a drink with jam and bread. . . (Rachel Phillips)
  • The only miracle that the Bishop could perform was changing water into very weak tea (Brian Stevenson)
  • All four preferred not to have their photo taken, but only one turned away in time (Eunice Parry)
  • Did you steal my chocolate? (Amanda Nicholson)
  • Doing his best teapot impersonation, the Bishop addressed the Synod: ‘More tea, vicars?’ (John Hutchinson)
  • And then I put my left hand on my left hip and you can pick me up and pour me out (Mark Hutchinson)
  • How do you think Brexit is going so far? (Christine Magson)
  • I have seen Penn and Teller — I know that trick with the little teapot! (Eric Jones)
  • The Bishop was keeping the tea nice and warm (Wendy Preece)
  • Gottle of geer, gottle of geer! (Catherine Thorp)
  • The audience pointed out that the Bishop got his Shakespeare wrong. It’s, ‘Is this a dagger I see before me,’ not a tea pot! (Richard Spray)
  • The Bishop dispensed epixieful warmth on every occasion (John Appleby)
  • Who would be telling him that a genie is found in a lamp, not a teapot? Rubbing the teapot would not solve their funding problem (Vicky Deasley)
  • They call me ‘The Teapot Bishop’ (Janet Stockton)
  • The Rt Revd Teapot was willing to be poured out in the Service of his people (Jill Boal)
  • One person’s extempore preaching is another’s ‘spout from the hip’ (Martin Kettle)
  • No, Mr Punch, I said I’m the puppet master, not the muppet pastor (Jon Soper)
  • I know of the perfect place in my kitchen for this little beauty to reside (Peter Sebbage)
  • Consulting the teapot is an essential element in obtaining feedback on services (Michael Foster)
  • The new bishop was much smaller, but more cuddly than the last (Ross Garner)
  • That’s how to keep things warm under your cassock (Bridget Johnson)
  • I wonder if I could accidentally drop this? (Chris Coupe)
  • It Beggars Belief! (David Wain)
  • It takes a retiring flying bishop to tell a spout from a Canon (Ian Barge)
  • Yorkshire bishops are always on hand when something’s brewing (John Saxbee)
  • Time for a cup of green tea, gentlemen (Jackie Jackson).


As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com


Wed 06 Jul @ 21:46
“The Episcopal Church mourns the horrific and preventable tragedy in San Antonio.” https://t.co/tjLQ5oC5n9

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