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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

05 March 2021

Steve Reynolds

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate! 

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 15 March.


Here is the winning entry for last week:

Rachel HarrisonRachel Harrison

I enjoy the Church Times, but not The Sun (Bill de Quick)


THE recent cold spell inspired a large number of entries this week:

  • The snow-white bishop has caught the Church Times, but, as he is frozen, he cannot move to read it (Helen Stevenson)
  • Hot off the press rapidly turns frozen (Peter Walker)
  • Frosty was desperately hoping that his copy of Church Times wasn’t hot off the press (Michael Foster)
  • Church Times up in arms over proposed freezing of episcopal appointments (Paul Brett)
  • Look what happens if clergy are left out in the cold (Chris Coupe)
  • The Bishop got another frosty reception (John Radford)
  • All visitations by bishops were frozen after a weather incident (Sue Chick)
  • The vicar refused to accept that his church required better heating (Mark Parry)
  • It seemed that none of this issue’s articles caused meltdown (Eunice Parry)
  • The Bishop was dreading the ‘warm welcome’ he had been promised (Jill Boal)
  • Now will you believe how cold the rectory is? (Vicky Deasley)
  • This Lord Spiritual was a frost-bencher (Jonathan Jeffrey)
  • The new Bishop in Europe was ready for his trip to Moscow (Patrick Irwin)
  • I’ll stick with the Church whatever the weather (Janet Stockton)
  • Regrettably, Bishops seem to be getting the cold shoulder from the media these days (John Hutchinson).

The identity of this bishop remains unconfirmed, but that didn’t stop people guessing:

  • Bishop Snow called: ‘Have you seen my glasses anywhere, dear? I can’t read this Church Times without them’ (Jonathan Haigh);
  • Bishop Snow has got his priorities right (Michael Watts)
  • Stephen Cottrell rather underestimated the difference in temperature in his move up north (Theresa Morton).

The C of E hierarchy has not had an easy time with the press lately:

  • Dear Spectator, What I actually said was ‘There’s snow bishops in the Church’s future’ (Jonnie Parkin)
  • Surely the Church Times hasn’t put a Bishop’s nose out of joint (John Saxbee)
  • The Archbishops still maintained that they had no plan to reduce clergy numbers (Jonathan Page).

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • There are hard decisions currently being made across many dioceses. Not just stipendiary posts in parishes will be frozen (Peter M Potter)
  • For a Bishop, people said he had a warm personality and a sunny smile (George Frost)
  • The Post Office trials its first media ad on the importance of correct post codes (Ian Barge)
  • Clergy Discipline Measure is frozen and replaced by carrot and stick” (Michael Doe); “The risk assessors had never considered the possibility of the vicar freezing halfway through Zoom church (Neil Popham)
  • There’s no Bishop like Snow Bishop (Philip Lickley)
  • The Vicar wondered whether a faculty was needed for erecting this snowman in the churchyard, but decided that, by the time he got a reply from the DAC, the snowman would have melted (Richard Hough)
  • In the bleak midwinter, Frostie read alone (Valerie Budd)
  • Despite reading the liberal Church Times, the bishop’s management style was very much carrot and stick (Mervyn Cox)
  • He twigged that the Church Times was essential reading (Howard Reeve)
  • An exciting model for ministry, but is it sustainable? (John Appleby)
  • The Bishop’s online account was frozen. At least he could still read his hard copy (Clare Griffiths)
  • Dunno. Just threw it out the window shouting ‘damned editorial!’ (Martin Kettle)
  • The snowman will melt away, but the Church Times is here to stay! (Lesley Cope)
  • Anglican? Rooted and grounded, but not moving (Robert Shooter). 

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. www.divinechocolate.com

Forthcoming Events

25 September 2021
Festival of Faith and Literature: Food for the Journey
With Stephen Cottrell, Peter Stanford, Lucy Winkett, and Rowan Williams.

20 October 2021
Does the parish need saving?
Warnings that the parish is under threat date back decades. But are claims that it is now being dismantled accurate? Join our panel for a lively online debate.

More events

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