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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

by
05 March 2021

Steve Reynolds

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate! 

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 15 March.

 

Here is the winning entry for last week:

Rachel HarrisonRachel Harrison

I enjoy the Church Times, but not The Sun (Bill de Quick)

 

THE recent cold spell inspired a large number of entries this week:

  • The snow-white bishop has caught the Church Times, but, as he is frozen, he cannot move to read it (Helen Stevenson)
  • Hot off the press rapidly turns frozen (Peter Walker)
  • Frosty was desperately hoping that his copy of Church Times wasn’t hot off the press (Michael Foster)
  • Church Times up in arms over proposed freezing of episcopal appointments (Paul Brett)
  • Look what happens if clergy are left out in the cold (Chris Coupe)
  • The Bishop got another frosty reception (John Radford)
  • All visitations by bishops were frozen after a weather incident (Sue Chick)
  • The vicar refused to accept that his church required better heating (Mark Parry)
  • It seemed that none of this issue’s articles caused meltdown (Eunice Parry)
  • The Bishop was dreading the ‘warm welcome’ he had been promised (Jill Boal)
  • Now will you believe how cold the rectory is? (Vicky Deasley)
  • This Lord Spiritual was a frost-bencher (Jonathan Jeffrey)
  • The new Bishop in Europe was ready for his trip to Moscow (Patrick Irwin)
  • I’ll stick with the Church whatever the weather (Janet Stockton)
  • Regrettably, Bishops seem to be getting the cold shoulder from the media these days (John Hutchinson).


The identity of this bishop remains unconfirmed, but that didn’t stop people guessing:

  • Bishop Snow called: ‘Have you seen my glasses anywhere, dear? I can’t read this Church Times without them’ (Jonathan Haigh);
  • Bishop Snow has got his priorities right (Michael Watts)
  • Stephen Cottrell rather underestimated the difference in temperature in his move up north (Theresa Morton).


The C of E hierarchy has not had an easy time with the press lately:

  • Dear Spectator, What I actually said was ‘There’s snow bishops in the Church’s future’ (Jonnie Parkin)
  • Surely the Church Times hasn’t put a Bishop’s nose out of joint (John Saxbee)
  • The Archbishops still maintained that they had no plan to reduce clergy numbers (Jonathan Page).

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • There are hard decisions currently being made across many dioceses. Not just stipendiary posts in parishes will be frozen (Peter M Potter)
  • For a Bishop, people said he had a warm personality and a sunny smile (George Frost)
  • The Post Office trials its first media ad on the importance of correct post codes (Ian Barge)
  • Clergy Discipline Measure is frozen and replaced by carrot and stick” (Michael Doe); “The risk assessors had never considered the possibility of the vicar freezing halfway through Zoom church (Neil Popham)
  • There’s no Bishop like Snow Bishop (Philip Lickley)
  • The Vicar wondered whether a faculty was needed for erecting this snowman in the churchyard, but decided that, by the time he got a reply from the DAC, the snowman would have melted (Richard Hough)
  • In the bleak midwinter, Frostie read alone (Valerie Budd)
  • Despite reading the liberal Church Times, the bishop’s management style was very much carrot and stick (Mervyn Cox)
  • He twigged that the Church Times was essential reading (Howard Reeve)
  • An exciting model for ministry, but is it sustainable? (John Appleby)
  • The Bishop’s online account was frozen. At least he could still read his hard copy (Clare Griffiths)
  • Dunno. Just threw it out the window shouting ‘damned editorial!’ (Martin Kettle)
  • The snowman will melt away, but the Church Times is here to stay! (Lesley Cope)
  • Anglican? Rooted and grounded, but not moving (Robert Shooter). 


As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. www.divinechocolate.com

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