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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

30 April 2021

Angus Walker

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate! 

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 10 May.  


Here is the winning entry for last week: 

kathryn percivalkathryn percival

“No, I said ‘Let’s give it to a vote,’” said the PCC member (Henrietta Cozens) 


AN ANIMAL brought into a Zoom service — what could possibly go wrong?

  • Pet services in church are always a bit risky, but inviting them to take part in Zoom conferences is courting disaster (Mervyn Cox)
  • Bite-size Bible ewe chewed on YouTube (John Saxbee)
  • This Zoom business really gets my goat (Richard Hough)
  • So who decided on an Easter ‘munch-o-gram’ rather than chocolate eggs? (Jacky Tivers)
  • Billy responded to the words ‘Take, eat. . .’ during the Easter communion service (Michael Foster)
  • Last one to mute has to clean out the pen (Valerie Budd)
  • Online church requires a stable internet connection (Jonnie Parkin)
  • If only the Bishop had remembered to turn off the ‘goat filter’ before attending Easter Zoom refreshments (Clare Cane)
  • The Reverend was perfectly happy to tend to his flock virtually, but was clearly a little confused about using EweTube (Rob Falconer).


Still, clearly an Easter to remember:

  • Looks like death is not the only thing swallowed up (Chris Coupe)
  • Taste and see that the Lord is good! (Donald Wetherick)
  • Group in cassock-coats emote as sermon notes go down goats’ throats (Philip Lickley)
  • If the Lord is my shepherd, where is the grass? (Brian Stevenson)
  • . . . and the final question in our Easter quiz: pub name with animal and godly connection? (Geoffrey House)
  • Not everybody finds the Easter story so hard to swallow (Patrick Irwin)
  • Hmm, these ‘first fruits’ are delicious . . . and did you say imperishable? (Alwyn Ladell)
  • At the Lamb’s high feast (Bob Torrens)
  • No kidding! Alleluia, Alleluia! (Caroline Shuttleworth)
  • Hold his gaze while I edge round to that gate, and it won’t just be the tomb that’s empty (Martin Kettle)
  • And the text for his Easter message was consumed by the Holy goat (Trevor Oakes).


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • Please, wait, the heavenly host will let you in soon (Paul Brett)
  • So now I can keep my wool on when someone says ‘mint sauce’ (Peter M Potter)
  • Be patient, Pet, the host will let you in soon (Jonathan Haigh)
  • Now, which of those four jokers pinned this to the door of the abattoir? (Ian Barge)
  • I’m not going to read this, it’s kid’s stuff (Bill de Quick)
  • Talk about virtue signalling: he even breathalyses his livestock for methane-gas emissions (Ray Morris)
  • He didn’t say anything about feeding His goats (Richard Strudwick)
  • Sheep may safely graze (John Hutchinson)
  • And the winner in the sheep vs goats contest is the goats (Vicky Deasley)
  • ‘Read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest’ as the old goat took his theology too seriously (Richard Spray)
  • I was trying to get into Narnia (Robert Shooter)
  • ‘Another press release from the sheep — tasty!’ said the goat (Clive Deverell)
  • The Archbishop desperately tried to prove he wasn’t a goat during a Zoom filter disaster at General Synod (David Hill)
  • We said ‘Read the Standing Orders’, not eat them (Julie Minns).


As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. www.divinechocolate.com

Forthcoming Events

15 May 2021
Send My Roots Rain: a poetry retreat
With Pádraig Ó Tuama, Malcolm Guite, Rachel Mann and others.

18 May 2021
Lift Up Your Voices, Lift Up Your Hearts
Speakers include John Bell, Noel Tredinnick and Helen Bent.

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