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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

23 July 2021


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate! 

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 2 August.

Here is the winning entry for last week: 

 George FrostGeorge Frost

Vision and Strategy, I presume (Peter Beal)


WE RECEIVED an unusually high number of entries this time; so we have space to print only some. This was, not surprisingly, a week for the puns:

  • Ewe shall not pass (Peter Ould)
  • Late again, ewe two. Chop chop (Chris Howse)
  • And what can I do for ewe, pray tell? (Rachael Simmons)
  • We have come to have our Baaaans read (Peter Walker)
  • Sorry, your Baaahhd (Jennifer Leach)
  • It’s been quiet since flock-down (Susan Shaw)
  • Bah humbug (Rita Shah)
  • You shall not pass. The way is baaa’d (Bridget Swan)
  • I don’t Baalieve it we’re late for the service again (Sheena Batey)
  • Would you like to join the flock? (Claire Driver)
  • The new members of his congregation looked a little bit sheepish (Selena Longworth)
  • I think you must be looking for the Baaaa-ptist church down the road (Judith Leadbeater)
  • So you think you would like to join your mother at the ewecharist (Ray Pearson).


As lockdown restrictions ease, it seems that this parish church is taking a cautious approach:

  • I don’t care if you are the Lamb of God, NO MASK NO ENTRY! (Marion Tanner)
  • I’m afraid ewe can’t come in without a mask (Karen Wells)
  • Have ewe been vaccinated? (Betty Shakespeare)
  • Baaack off, social distancing still in place! (Adele Knight)
  • Wool you let us in without a mask? (Fiona Jesson)
  • Yes, I know the Lord’s my Shepherd, but you still can’t come in — we’re in flockdown (Lyn Gillespie)
  • Even with social distancing the flock were determined to attend Sunday Service (Richard Owen)
  • I don’t care if your friend insists that he’s the Lamb of God. You’re not coming in without a mask! (Carol Clarence)
  • I don’t care if the goats are in your support bubble. You can’t sit together (Chris Hammett)
  • You might be lambs of God, but you still need to wear a mask and sanitise (Geoffrey House).


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • It’s not Easter today, come back next year! (Joanne Cox)
  • Is this where the Good Shepherd lives? (Margaret Hamilton)
  • Confession time! Which one of you two ate the church-plant? (Ian Barge)
  • If I let you in, promise you won’t run around like woolly jumpers (Bill de Quick)
  • A good shepherd told us that you would feed his lambs (John Saxbee)
  • Is Noah’s Ark through this door? (Sheena Read)
  • During Covid, the vicar tends to whatever flock he can get (Tracy Reid)
  • Shirley and Sandra took their psalms very seriously: they’d already been lying down in green pastures and now they’d come to visit the Lord who was their shepherd (Claire Lawrenson)
  • Is this the correct venue to grab a jab, Vicar? (Lynn Neal)
  • All sheep and sizes welcome here (Julie Oakley)
  • But where are the other 98? (Kay Griffiths)
  • No, sorry, we can’t prove we are not wolves (Paul Lodge)
  • These two would make good members for the PCC (Richard Hough)
  • We have erred and strayed — which way did the shepherd go? (Michael Foster)
  • The vicar suddenly saw the churchwardens for what they really were (Patrick Irwin)
  • It may say ‘All welcome’, but, if I let you in, will that put a whole new meaning on Messy Church? (Daphne Foster)
  • Well, yes, I suppose this is the Department of Lost Sheep (Valerie Budd)
  • Lily and Larry faced the Limiting Factor (Celia Stevenson)
  • After recent vandalism at the church, the vicar stands firm against a pair of ram-raiders (Rob Falconer)
  • Sorry, we don’t feed lambs any more, pastoral care is out, it’s all mission nowadays (Alan Lewin)
  • Sorry if I wasn’t speaking clearly, Lord, I asked for a spare pair of hands to help with the benefice! (Tim Goodbody)
  • Now, about this grass-cutting job in the churchyard (Alan Gostelow)


As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.


Forthcoming Events

25 September 2021
Festival of Faith and Literature: Food for the Journey
With Stephen Cottrell, Peter Stanford, Lucy Winkett, and Rowan Williams.

20 October 2021
Does the parish need saving?
Warnings that the parish is under threat date back decades. But are claims that it is now being dismantled accurate? Join our panel for a lively online debate.

More events

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