Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!
Send your entries by email only to firstname.lastname@example.org by 9 a.m. on Monday 1 February.
Here is the winning entry from last week:
We really are at sea with this one: whatever we try to do to stop it, there’s always another wave (Robert Shooter)
A PICTURE featuring the sea was bound to invite some biblical captions. Let’s start with the Old Testament:
- Noah and his sons having a frolic in the sea to get rid of the animal smell (David Nash)
- As the flood waters rose, Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth enjoyed a final frolic in the surf before the long swim back to the Ark (Jonathan Haigh)
- Mrs Noah set sail, forgetting that her husband, Shem, Ham, and Japheth were not on board (Christopher Benson).
And the New:
- ‘Divers came from afar’ (Mark 8.3) — notwithstanding Covid restrictions (John Saxbee);
- ‘. . . for divers of them came from far . . .’ (Mark 8.3) (Paulette Yallop)
- And the sea give up its dead, though some resisted resurrection (David Sargent)
- Jesus calls us! — o’er the tumult Of our life’s wild restless sea! (Daphne Foster).
A pandemic might be bringing out the inner Baptist in our readers:
- The parish were determined that the New Year adult baptisms should be by full immersion only (Michael Foster)
- There’s full-immersion baptism . . . then there is taking it to extremes (Chris Coupe)
- For January, they thought this was carrying total-immersion baptism a bit too far (Richard Hough)
- In Tier 3.75, outdoor baptisms involving up to four men were permitted (Avril Rhodes)
- Socially distanced Baptists (Janet Stockton)
- They’re going for total immersion — they must be Baptists! (Peter Sebbage)
- The baptismal candidates were particularly looking forward to the warm fellowship after the service (Bridget Swan)
- The current craze for wild swimming has really boosted sea baptisms (Janet Appleby)
- ‘Can you combine keeping fit with adult baptism?’ ‘Yes, you can’ (Martin Kettle).
Despite a deal being agreed with the EU, Brexit remains a concern:
- The Remainers were making a last minute escape to Europe (Sue Chick)
- The last of the anti-Brexiteers head for Europe (Richard Strudwick)
- The full Brexit arrangements really were that bad (Vicky Deasley)
- Avoiding the Dover post-Brexit customs delays (Alison Rollin)
- The Cabinet prepare to begin trade talks with the kingdom of Atlantis (George Frost)
- Fishermen spring into life as they spot a happy British fish near the shore (Philip Lickley)
- After Brexit, Amazon required a novel pick-up of UK goods (Fiona Forrest-James)
- Some Continental hauliers held up at Dover in the French border blockade were determined to get home for Christmas at any cost (Mervyn Cox).
Thanks also for these entries:
- His company had already dived, but he had no idea he was about to have his assets frozen (Martin Rolfe)
- Chins up, lads! The Channel’s still in Tier 1 (Ian Barge)
- It was a North Sea bubble (Brian Stevenson)
- The socially distanced audience needed binoculars to watch the first episode of Strictly Come Swimming (Avril Forrest)
- I knew I could levitate. Just needed some incentive (Sean Dooley)
- The free holiday offered clergy ‘a complete break from being stuck indoors on your phone and computer’ (Valerie Budd)
- Having overstayed shore leave, some crew make a mad dash for their ship (Peter Walker)
- Portsmouth Vacancy. Frustrated episcopal hopefuls take matters into their own hands: Long time, no See (Bryan Gadd)
- Some ordinands missed the principal’s literary allusion when he suggested they immersed themselves in Dover Beach (Ray Morris)
- The selection process for new ordinands gets tougher, but they were encouraged by Psalm 66.6: ‘He turned the sea into dry land’ — if not so good for the cargo ship (Lesley Cope)
- The Mission and Outreach team were so keen to share the Good News with the crew of the tanker that one of them forgot to put on his swimming trunks (Lynda Sebbage)
- An early-morning swim for a student of Levitaticus (John Appleby)
- Some clergymen enjoy a dip. . . More sea, vicar? (Mark Parry)
- Widespread disappointment that CMD training is still not helping clergy to walk on water (Andrew Blyth)
- The whole affair was due to a typist’s error in the Crown Nominations Commission’s letter to the Vacancy-in-See Committee (Patrick Irwin)
- Hey, while you walk on the water, we of little faith will swim (Michael Perry)
- Just as the fun was about to start, so did the Rapture (Tim Robinson)
- As the Titanic sailed for her maiden voyage, a group of friends demonstrated how they would escape from her in the unlikely event of striking an iceberg. One stood stoically, three dived straight in, only one prayed (John Hughes).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. www.divinechocolate.com