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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the latest winner and top entries

17 September 2021

Jason Taylor

Have a go at our next caption competition (above  click on image to see it all) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 27 September.

Here is the winning entry for last week: 


The Vicar’s sermon illustrations were getting cheesier (Philip Goggin) 

A POPULAR primary-school hymn reworked for an age of space travel?

  • He’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole wide world in his hands . . . oh, wait. . . (Victoria Prince)
  • He’s got the whole universe in his hands, he’s got the universe in his hands (Jennifer Toal)
  • He’s got the whole moon in his hands (Graeme Denman)
  • Because He has the whole world in His hands, I can reach for the moon (Karen Ries)
  • I thought it was supposed to be, ‘He’s got the whole world in his hands’, not just the moon (Richard Spray)
  • He’s got the whole moon in his hands (x3) and it is made of green cheese (Sonia Falaschi-Ray)
  • . . . but I’ve got the whole moon in my hands (Ian Falconer)
  • Some people thought his actions to He’s got the whole world. . . a little ostentatious (Philip Deane)
  • I’ve got the whole world in my hands! Oh, I’ve picked the wrong balloon (Alan Beal Forbes).


Plenty of puns this week. Here is a selection:

  • The Dean’s obsession with the moon — just a phase or a sign of ‘lunacy’? (Alison Parry)
  • More lunacy in the C of E (Charles Walster)
  • Lift off! I’m over the moon (Ally MacDonald)
  • I think the Moonies are in town (Eric Jones)
  • The Canon Missioner was moonstuck (Celia Stevenson)
  • Crater love hath no man than this (John Appleby)
  • The new vicar came up with an inspired way to become ‘boulder’ during his sermons (Paul Groom)
  • I love a cathedral. You can just moon about and sense something bigger than yourself (Martin Kettle)
  • Luna-cy à la Anglican mode (Richard Strudwick).


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • Just to put it graphically, this is how much flak I’ve received for ripping out the pews (Ian Barge)
  • As the moon gets put on the red list, I can’t go to the moon, but the moon will come to me (Angella Willis)
  • Look what I found in the middle of Lidl! (Amy Jo McLellan)
  • Bishop’s chaplain test runs the latest mitre (Peter Walker)
  • This is a hold-up (Robert Shooter)
  • The Dean began to question the decision to turn the nave into a bowling alley (Michael Doe)
  • Can someone go and see if it is still raining, as this roof is not going to hold much longer (Ann Fitzpatrick).
  • How can I put on a chasuble when I’ve got my hands full? (Patrick Irwin)
  • Vicar keeps congregation away from the dark side (Philip Lickley)
  • Mother said there would be days like this (Sadie Godiva)
  • At least Moses had helpers to support his arms (Valerie Budd)
  • Branson, Bezos, you don’t have to go out there; we’ve got the moon here in Bristol (Paul Brett)
  • The Dean’s moon walk would rival that of Michael Jackson (Chris Parry)
  • The Dean’s belief that he could carry the moon was on the wane (Mark Parry)
  • Following a poor performance review, Fr Richard showed the congregation where his next parish was to be (Michael Foster).
  • He saved the altar from the meteorite (Claire Driver)
  • Dear Archdeacon, what further evidence do you need that our priest is secretly supporting the Moonies? (Ray Morris)
  • ‘We have enough cheese for tea now, Gromit,’ said Martin (Vicky Deasley)
  • The curate went one further when his TI told him to reach for the stars (Nick Baker)
  • Amidst a measure of controversy, the new Enabler of Extra-terrestrial Congregations celebrates his appointment (Don Manley)
  • The last parish priest in the Church of England: the Rector of the united benefice of the universe (Mervyn Cox)
  • Typical Charismatic. It’s meant to be on your shoulders (Jeremy Fletcher).


As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.



Wed 06 Jul @ 21:46
“The Episcopal Church mourns the horrific and preventable tragedy in San Antonio.” https://t.co/tjLQ5oC5n9

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