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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

06 November 2020

Association of English Cathedrals

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 16 November.

Here is the winning entry from last week:


“I just hate talking to a puppet,” the octopus said
(Trevor Oakes)


MOST entries for this week’s competition were received before the latest lockdown measures were announced. Nevertheless, they hardly conveyed the sense of a Prime Minister in command of the pandemic:

  • “Quick, grab the syringe. My friend Donald has said that I need to inject this” (Adam Houckham)
  • “No, Prime Minister, just looking at the hand gel doesn’t work” (Peter Walker) 
  • “Remember, PM, an octopus has to sing ‘Happy Birthday to you’ four times when he washes his hands” (John Radford) 
  • “At least sales of hand sanitiser have gone up” (Mel Turner)
  • “It won’t be long before Boris is rubbing his hands together” (Mark Parry) 
  • “Looking at the hand sanitiser in front of him, Boris wasn’t sure it was enough for the size of this Covid problem” (Andy Percey) 
  • “Boris couldn’t understand why the hand sanitiser was being used up so quickly, until he glanced up” (Vicky Deasley) 
  • “He couldn’t remember which U-turn he was currently in: to use or not to use?” (Alison Rollin) 
  • “Isn’t that infectious?” (Tim Rollin) 
  • “The bottle says ‘Expel three little squirts’ — that reminds me, time for a cabinet reshuffle” (Ray Morris)
  • “Hand sanitiser or squid ink?” (Dean Lloyd) 
  • “Well, I’ve never seen one of those before” (Derek Marshall)
  • “This looks new, what’s it for?” (James McGill) 
  • “To sanitise or not to sanitise . . . that is the question” (Chris Stone) 
  • “All smiles now — but get ready for a big squeeze later” (Chris Hammett) 
  • “The Prime Minister (middle) prepares to wash his hands of all responsibility” (Jack Carlin).

Not everyone is convinced that the Chancellor has his boss’s best interests at heart:

  • “Rishi Sunak: ‘I told him there was a bottle of alcohol round the corner. . . He fell for it!’” (Ellie Bromilow) 
  • “Boris is suspicious of the new hair gel Rishi has recommended” (Ian Seccombe); “Do I apply this gel to my hands or my hair?” (Michael Foster) 
  • “Got any tonic, Rishi?” (John Jones) 
  • “Yesterday, Covid seemed so far away, now it looks as if it’s here to stay. I’m not half the man I used to be: Sunak’s shadow’s hanging over me” (John Lloyd)
  • “Rishi Sunak was sure that the PM would be delighted with his Ribena-sponsored sanitiser deal” (Nicholas Varnon) 
  • “‘Behind you!’ ‘Oh, yes, he is!’” (Christopher Hall) 
  • “Unbeknown to the PM, the joker behind him had replaced the contents of the sanitiser bottle with sticky jam” (Rachel Moate) 
  • “‘That’s a very small bottle of hand sanitiser, Rishi.’ ‘Just trying to protect the budget, Prime Minister’” (Daphne Foster).

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • “Careful, Rishi, there’s someone here who wants more than one handout” (Susan Willshee)
  • “‘Count yourself lucky that you’ve only got two hands to sanitise’, the pink octopus said” (Maree Foster) 
  • “Prime Minister, I don’t think it was wise to storm out of the Cobra meeting” (Andy Hagon)
  •  “An octopus is highly intelligent, has a remarkable sex life, can camouflage itself into any surroundings, but has no backbone. . .” (Robert Ashdown) 
  • “Is this where DIY baptisms take place?” (Liz Simpson) 
  • “Hmm — don’t think I’ll bother. I’m meeting Barnier in ten minutes” (Ian Barge).


The winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.


Fri 19 Aug @ 06:52
Parishes feel the squeeze as energy bills rocket https://t.co/UKNRgVDjEf

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