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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

06 November 2020

Association of English Cathedrals

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 16 November.

Here is the winning entry from last week:


“I just hate talking to a puppet,” the octopus said
(Trevor Oakes)


MOST entries for this week’s competition were received before the latest lockdown measures were announced. Nevertheless, they hardly conveyed the sense of a Prime Minister in command of the pandemic:

  • “Quick, grab the syringe. My friend Donald has said that I need to inject this” (Adam Houckham)
  • “No, Prime Minister, just looking at the hand gel doesn’t work” (Peter Walker) 
  • “Remember, PM, an octopus has to sing ‘Happy Birthday to you’ four times when he washes his hands” (John Radford) 
  • “At least sales of hand sanitiser have gone up” (Mel Turner)
  • “It won’t be long before Boris is rubbing his hands together” (Mark Parry) 
  • “Looking at the hand sanitiser in front of him, Boris wasn’t sure it was enough for the size of this Covid problem” (Andy Percey) 
  • “Boris couldn’t understand why the hand sanitiser was being used up so quickly, until he glanced up” (Vicky Deasley) 
  • “He couldn’t remember which U-turn he was currently in: to use or not to use?” (Alison Rollin) 
  • “Isn’t that infectious?” (Tim Rollin) 
  • “The bottle says ‘Expel three little squirts’ — that reminds me, time for a cabinet reshuffle” (Ray Morris)
  • “Hand sanitiser or squid ink?” (Dean Lloyd) 
  • “Well, I’ve never seen one of those before” (Derek Marshall)
  • “This looks new, what’s it for?” (James McGill) 
  • “To sanitise or not to sanitise . . . that is the question” (Chris Stone) 
  • “All smiles now — but get ready for a big squeeze later” (Chris Hammett) 
  • “The Prime Minister (middle) prepares to wash his hands of all responsibility” (Jack Carlin).

Not everyone is convinced that the Chancellor has his boss’s best interests at heart:

  • “Rishi Sunak: ‘I told him there was a bottle of alcohol round the corner. . . He fell for it!’” (Ellie Bromilow) 
  • “Boris is suspicious of the new hair gel Rishi has recommended” (Ian Seccombe); “Do I apply this gel to my hands or my hair?” (Michael Foster) 
  • “Got any tonic, Rishi?” (John Jones) 
  • “Yesterday, Covid seemed so far away, now it looks as if it’s here to stay. I’m not half the man I used to be: Sunak’s shadow’s hanging over me” (John Lloyd)
  • “Rishi Sunak was sure that the PM would be delighted with his Ribena-sponsored sanitiser deal” (Nicholas Varnon) 
  • “‘Behind you!’ ‘Oh, yes, he is!’” (Christopher Hall) 
  • “Unbeknown to the PM, the joker behind him had replaced the contents of the sanitiser bottle with sticky jam” (Rachel Moate) 
  • “‘That’s a very small bottle of hand sanitiser, Rishi.’ ‘Just trying to protect the budget, Prime Minister’” (Daphne Foster).

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • “Careful, Rishi, there’s someone here who wants more than one handout” (Susan Willshee)
  • “‘Count yourself lucky that you’ve only got two hands to sanitise’, the pink octopus said” (Maree Foster) 
  • “Prime Minister, I don’t think it was wise to storm out of the Cobra meeting” (Andy Hagon)
  •  “An octopus is highly intelligent, has a remarkable sex life, can camouflage itself into any surroundings, but has no backbone. . .” (Robert Ashdown) 
  • “Is this where DIY baptisms take place?” (Liz Simpson) 
  • “Hmm — don’t think I’ll bother. I’m meeting Barnier in ten minutes” (Ian Barge).


The winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.

Forthcoming Events

18 March 2021
Theology Slam Final
The third annual Theology Slam competition will feature talks on justice, creativity, and community in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic.

22 March 2021
Festival of Christian Pilgrimage
This free, online festival is a chance to reflect and deepen understanding of pilgrimage.

25 March 2021
All Sisters and Brothers
London Churches Refugee Fund and Church Times present an evening in support of refugees.

More events

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