Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!
Send your entries by email only to firstname.lastname@example.org by 9 a.m. on Monday 16 November.
Here is the winning entry from last week:
“I just hate talking to a puppet,” the octopus said
MOST entries for this week’s competition were received before the latest lockdown measures were announced. Nevertheless, they hardly conveyed the sense of a Prime Minister in command of the pandemic:
- “Quick, grab the syringe. My friend Donald has said that I need to inject this” (Adam Houckham)
- “No, Prime Minister, just looking at the hand gel doesn’t work” (Peter Walker)
- “Remember, PM, an octopus has to sing ‘Happy Birthday to you’ four times when he washes his hands” (John Radford)
- “At least sales of hand sanitiser have gone up” (Mel Turner)
- “It won’t be long before Boris is rubbing his hands together” (Mark Parry)
- “Looking at the hand sanitiser in front of him, Boris wasn’t sure it was enough for the size of this Covid problem” (Andy Percey)
- “Boris couldn’t understand why the hand sanitiser was being used up so quickly, until he glanced up” (Vicky Deasley)
- “He couldn’t remember which U-turn he was currently in: to use or not to use?” (Alison Rollin)
- “Isn’t that infectious?” (Tim Rollin)
- “The bottle says ‘Expel three little squirts’ — that reminds me, time for a cabinet reshuffle” (Ray Morris)
- “Hand sanitiser or squid ink?” (Dean Lloyd)
- “Well, I’ve never seen one of those before” (Derek Marshall)
- “This looks new, what’s it for?” (James McGill)
- “To sanitise or not to sanitise . . . that is the question” (Chris Stone)
- “All smiles now — but get ready for a big squeeze later” (Chris Hammett)
- “The Prime Minister (middle) prepares to wash his hands of all responsibility” (Jack Carlin).
Not everyone is convinced that the Chancellor has his boss’s best interests at heart:
- “Rishi Sunak: ‘I told him there was a bottle of alcohol round the corner. . . He fell for it!’” (Ellie Bromilow)
- “Boris is suspicious of the new hair gel Rishi has recommended” (Ian Seccombe); “Do I apply this gel to my hands or my hair?” (Michael Foster)
- “Got any tonic, Rishi?” (John Jones)
- “Yesterday, Covid seemed so far away, now it looks as if it’s here to stay. I’m not half the man I used to be: Sunak’s shadow’s hanging over me” (John Lloyd)
- “Rishi Sunak was sure that the PM would be delighted with his Ribena-sponsored sanitiser deal” (Nicholas Varnon)
- “‘Behind you!’ ‘Oh, yes, he is!’” (Christopher Hall)
- “Unbeknown to the PM, the joker behind him had replaced the contents of the sanitiser bottle with sticky jam” (Rachel Moate)
- “‘That’s a very small bottle of hand sanitiser, Rishi.’ ‘Just trying to protect the budget, Prime Minister’” (Daphne Foster).
Some other entries that we enjoyed:
- “Careful, Rishi, there’s someone here who wants more than one handout” (Susan Willshee)
- “‘Count yourself lucky that you’ve only got two hands to sanitise’, the pink octopus said” (Maree Foster)
- “Prime Minister, I don’t think it was wise to storm out of the Cobra meeting” (Andy Hagon)
- “An octopus is highly intelligent, has a remarkable sex life, can camouflage itself into any surroundings, but has no backbone. . .” (Robert Ashdown)
- “Is this where DIY baptisms take place?” (Liz Simpson)
- “Hmm — don’t think I’ll bother. I’m meeting Barnier in ten minutes” (Ian Barge).
The winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.