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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

03 January 2020


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk or by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 10 January.

Here is last week’s winner:


Dress-down Friday again at the episcopal training college (Cortland Fransella)


THE Twelve Days of Christmas are not over just yet — so a festive caption competition is not out of place:

  • Just like London buses, St Nicholases come along in fours (Lynda Sebbage)
  • The seminar on explaining how St Nicholas morphed into Father Christmas was not very well at­­tended (Valerie Budd)
  • Bishops? I’ve seen more convincing Father Christmases! (Ian Barge)
  • Owing to a ‘clerical’ error (ho, ho, ho), four bishops had been booked to play Santa Claus at the Choir School Christmas Party (Mark Parry)
  • The entrants for the church Christmas party fancy-dress competition showed little imagination (Mervyn Cox)
  • ‘Look behind you! He’s got a mitre!’ ‘Oh no he hasn’t.’ ‘Oh yes he has!’ (Peter M Potter)


White beards do not remind readers only of Santa Claus:

  • Rowan Williams look-a-like challenge — the quarter-finals (John Saxbee)
  • But which was the real Rowan Williams? (Richard Martin)
  • Every­one wanted to be like Archbishop Rowan (Clare Griffiths).


Since the picture was first pub­lished straight after polling day, we can allow some political entries:

  • Whisper to leader: there is trouble in your constituencies, voters think you wise men are spending too long away on the star journey (Phillip Rice)
  • After the election result, the party leader had asked his MPs to come in dis­guise (Richard Hough)
  • Four candidates for the Labour leader­­ship (Janet Stockton)

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • Having forgotten to invite the Orthodox to the ecumenical con­ference, the Archbishop’s team tried to cover up and bluff it out (George Frost)
  • One in four bishops just can’t get the staff nowadays (Francis Berryman)
  • Bishops croziering up together in the vestry? (Chris Coupe)
  • Not wearing trainers was not some­thing the youth group would contemplate (Vicky Lund­berg)
  • I declare this meeting of the Church of England Evangelical Council officially open (Andrew Greenhough)



  • You don’t think that memo about the correct dress for new MPs at the State Open­ing could be a hoax? (Ray Morris)
  • OK, then — whose bright idea was it to have the consecration on Christmas Day? (Peter Bacon);
  • Crooked Santa (Andrew Craig)
  • It may have been foolish to combine an episcopal conference with Messy Church (Patrick Irwin)
  • St Nicholas x4 marked the end of the era of austerity (Michael Foster)
  • Think of us as the four corners of the Lambeth Quadrilateral (Richard Crockett)
  • Word of the new miracle hair restorer had spread rapidly throughout the episcopate (Stephen Disley)
  • The line-up for ‘The best bearded St Nicholas’ competition looked more like a bunch of latter-day Meth­uselahs (Lesley Cope).


As ever, the winner receives Fair­­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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