*** DEBUG END ***

Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

28 February 2020

Courtesy of Bishop Graham Kings

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk or by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 6 March.  

Here is the winning entry from last week:


But, Tim, to lose one Channel Island may be regarded as a misfortune, but to lose both. . . (Michael Doe)


WE TRUST that the bishops were not talking and texting during the Archbishop of Canterbury’s presidential address to the Synod — but who knows?

  • Unfortunately, the keynote speaker had failed to hold the delegates’ attention (Michael Foster)
  • Contrary to popular opinion, male bishops can multi-task (Bridget Swan)
  • At least the latest Miscellaneous Provisions Measure had one of them on the edge of his seat (John Saxbee).

We are all glued to our smartphones these days, even in the chamber:

  • His wife bought him an iPhone for his birthday, and now there’s no stopping him (Lynda Sebbage)
  • I really should tell him his screen time ended ten minutes ago (Mike Browning)
  • He’s not happy because I went five levels past him on Candy Crush on the way here on the train this morning (Charlie Seligman)
  • The Suffragan texted home: ‘Sorry, dear, CI trip’s off.’ (Richard Strudwick)
  • We all failed to communicate with God through prayer; so I said, ‘Let me try the phone’ (Djamal Abou).

Among the other entries that amused us were:

  • Bishop to Queen two: mate (Ian Barge)
  • Oh, go on, we won’t tell (Ros Miskin)
  • Behind the seated bishops it was hokey cokey time: ‘You put your right foot in. . .’ (Chris Coupe)
  • I can recommend a quiet pub five minutes’ walk from here (Patrick Irwin)
  • Episcopal Footwear Ltd now has light-tan shoes in stock (Peter Walker)
  • Only one in four bishops were on message (Christopher Huxtable)
  • This bus-stop ministry is all very well, but I was standing at the bus stop in one of my parishes for two and a half hours before Mrs Smith came over and told me that the bus comes only on a Thursday (Ruth Churchill)
  • We are so pleased you can join us! The loaves are in my rucksack and +David is ordering fishes to go (Georgi Leask)
  • What do you call it when a group of bishops goes bad?” “I dunno; what do you call it?” “An episkoposse! (Che Seabourne).

As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fair­­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.



Wed 10 Aug @ 23:43
The former Head of Operations in the Two Cities, Martin Sargeant, who is accused of defrauding the London Diocesan… https://t.co/XchC8ZaebL

Welcome to the Church Times

​To explore the Church Times website fully, please sign in or subscribe.

Non-subscribers can read four articles for free each month. (You will need to register.)