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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

by
20 November 2020

PA

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m. on Monday 30 November.

 

Here is the winning entry from last week: 

association of english cathedralsassociation of english cathedrals

“Ready, Steady, Vespers!” (Nick Baker)

 

MEMBERS of the clergy tend to be dog-lovers; so we were a bit taken a back by some readers’ suggestions as to what this senior cleric might have been planning to cook for dinner:

  • Not home-made dog food again!” (Pat Newport)
  • I know it’s a disappointment, Fido, but today it’s definitely hot dog (Trevor Oakes)
  • Barney dearly hoped that the screen wasn’t the only thing to be shared this evening (Christopher Johnson)
  • I only said it’s hot dogs for tea (Julie Boitoult)
  • Don’t worry, Buster, I am not cooking hot dogs (Peter Walker)
  • Even Rover knew that affirming a love for God didn’t mean burnt offerings from your own kitchen ( Susie Mackenzie).

 

Some thought better, though they were not confident that the final meal would be to the dog’s satisfaction:

  • The idea of filming ‘Vicar’s dinners’ on Zoom filled the household with dread. His cooking was known to be suspect (Lynda Sebbage)
  • I do hope this Zoom cooking course goes well, we don’t want a dog’s dinner again (Laura Corrall)
  • I’d prefer it out of a tin (Linda Acaster)
  • Don’t look at me, it was you who made the shopping list (Lee Gardner). 

 

In a second lockdown, multi-tasking appears to have returned:

  • Because of the new lockdown, the annual pet service had to be Zoomed from the vicarage (Brian Stevenson)
  • With all this multi-tasking, David couldn’t remember if he was meant to be YouTubing a service, ordering his weekly groceries, or taking part in Bake Off (Sue Chick)
  • What do you think, Dido? Must get it right for my Zooming debut (Ian Barge)
  • Just to prove that men can multi-task, Roland prepared to live-stream the service while cooking Sunday lunch and feeding the dog (Michael Foster)
  • Thanks to Zoom, the Vicar could officiate at matins while cooking Sunday lunch (Michael Doe)
  • The broadcast evensong from the vicar’s kitchen was attended by the usual one man and his dog (Mervyn Cox)
  • The rector decided to make preparations in order to live-stream Midnight Mass from his kitchen table (John Radford)
  • It is amazing just how quickly an online service can turn into a dog’s dinner (Stewart Ridley)
  • Fr Philip would not have burned the soup if the last hymn on Zoom had not lasted so long (Patrick Irwin).

 

The dog appears to be sceptical that his owner’s lockdown broadcast career will reach new heights:

  • Woof! Let’s just ‘paws’ and think. . . You think they meant you when they asked for a TV chef in a dog collar? (Chris Stone)
  • The search to find the new Bake Off host continued (George Frost)
  • It’s all very well trying to prove that you can cook even better dishes than the professionals on MasterChef, but I haven’t been fed for days (Daphne Foster)
  • The Great British Bark Off (Louise France)
  • I was expecting Jamie Oliver, not you, Vicar (Adele Rudd)
  • Barking mad if you think you’ll be the next Mary Berry (Jo Jones). 

 

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • This wasn’t quite my idea of parish ministry when I attended my BAP (Chris Coupe)
  • Faithful Nipper sniffs the air in appreciation of His Master’s Vocation (Paulette Yallop)
  • And now for the dog’s dinner (Trevor Gosling)
  • Hey, dude, only one of us should be wearing a dog collar (Mike Clarke)
  • He said the latest instructions were a dog’s breakfast, but I didn’t get any (Valerie Budd)
  • Ever faithful, he listened for His Master’s Voice. Ditto the dog (Alison Rollin)
  • When she said, ‘I’m going to the prayer meeting, your dinner’s in the dog,’ I thought she was joking (Robert Shooter)
  • Spot was intrigued by the state-of-the-art kitchen vestments (Michael Watts)
  • Dean David invites you to the Annual Richard III Memorial Dinner (Richard Hough)
  • You’ll only make a dog’s dinner of things; so I’m entering MasterChef making cocker vin and terriermasu (Mitch Irving)
  • Braise my sole (Graeme Denman)
  • Master, it’s, “Ready, stir, screen, and preach!” (Johnny Douglas). 

 

The winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.

www.divinechocolate.com

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