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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

17 January 2020


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk or by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 24 January.  


Here is last week’s winner:


If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere; so it’s up to you new York, new York (John Saxbee)


IT SEEMED inevitable that quips about a double act would be forthcoming — and so they were:

  • The new double-act presenters of I’m a Vicar, get me out of here! have been announced (Chris Coupe)
  • Hale and Pace take a new career direction as ‘De Church Management’ (Marcus Booth)
  • They knew they were auditioning for something, but couldn’t quite remember if it was for The Gentlemen, or Men in Black, or for Double Cross; so they just kept on smiling (Alison Rollin)
  • Are you planning a Christmas special following the successes of Cannon and Ball, Morecambe and Wise, Little and Large, as Cottrell and Welby (Clive Deverell)
  • And it’s good news from me, and good news from him (Valerie Budd)
  • Mitchell brothers take on new EastEnders roles (Andrew Blyth)
  • Two new faces join the Strictly Come Dancing judging panel (D. C. Essex)
  • In no time at all, Stan and Ollie would work out which way round to stand (Jonathan Jeffery).


But more weighty matters are surely occupying the minds of the Archbishop and Archbishop-elect:

  • Bishop Stephen doesn’t know yet, but I’ve planned my annual holiday to coincide with the Lambeth Conference (Patrick Irwin)
  • No ifs, no buts, we’re going to Get Lambeth done (Richard Barnes).


Perhaps a case of mistaken identity?

  • You’ve got the wrong story. This is Stephen Cottrell, our new man at York, not Stephen Cotterill, football manager (Janet Stockton)
  • Justin Welby introduces his new personal chef, Rick Stein (Colin Stephens)
  • Congratulations to the happy couple on their special day! (Jayne Ozanne).


Some readers hope that Bishop Cottrell is getting ready for his move northwards:

  • Star of the east to become star of the north — prepare to adjust compasses! (Sue Chick)
  • They tell me there are a few hills in the new diocese (Richard Hough)
  • Stephen, you know you will need a cloth cap when you go up north. First thing Sentamu bought (John Rhodes).


Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • Bring me sunshine, in your smile, Bring me laughter, all the while. . . (Andrew Todd)
  • Both Archbishops reaffirmed their commitment to diversity in the highest levels of Church leadership (George Frost)
  • Justin, do you think the photographer down there realises he’s wearing odd-coloured shoes? (Lynda Sebbage)
  • They were agreed that black is the new purple (Claire Scargill)
  • Both men were in need of fresh expressions (Carolyn Owens)
  • There was a time when all bishops wore purple, but, now, emulating the NZ rugby team, they are the new All Blacks (Peter Walker)
  • That’s a nice mess you’ve got me into (Robert Shooter)
  • Like the Cheshire Cat, the grins remained long after the photographers had vanished (Ian Enticott)
  • Cantuar and Ebor-to-be posing for the first ‘Spot the difference’ in the children’s page in a fresh expression of the Church Times (John Thackray)
  • Don’t look now, but lens cap still on third from right (Lesley Bambridge)
  • OK, your graces, say ‘big cheese’ (Mervyn Cox)
  • ‘And we must be sure to set up a cricket match between York and Canterbury,’ whispered Justin (Lesley Cope)
  • It was a draw with the pectoral cross, Canterbury just edged ahead with the collar, but the Archbishop of York-elect romped home with his beaming smile (Brian Withington)
  • That’s Archdeacon, our puppy; be careful, she bites! (Robert Paterson).


As ever, the winner receives Fair­­trade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

Forthcoming Events

18 March 2021
Theology Slam Final
The third annual Theology Slam competition will feature talks on justice, creativity, and community in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic.

22 March 2021
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25 March 2021
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