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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

08 February 2019

Twitter/Nicholas Wheeler

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 15 February.

Here are this week’s winners:


Outer two boys: ‘O for the wings of a dove to escape from this’
Valerie Budd

There may be trebles ahead
Richard Barnes


THE entries this week appear to have brought back memories to readers of their own days as choristers:

  • 25 bars rest before their next introduction; so time for a game of catch the Smartie (John Hutchinson)
  • I don’t reckon choristers do swallow 470 spiders before their voices break, do you? (Rutton Viccajeee)
  • Bet he swallows the wasp (Eric Lishman)
  • The flycatcher personified (Richard Strudwick)
  • Aiming a Malteser accurately from the pulpit to the choir pews was no mean feat (Andrew Greenhough)
  • Marcus had spotted the drone that the music director was using to keep an eye on the choir boys (Sue Chick)
  • I don’t think he will be getting the fourth button any time soon (Vicky Lundberg)
  • Only once they’d mastered the button-swallowing ritual could the younger boys progress to four, and then five, buttons (Alison Rollin)
  • There’s always one who comes in too soon on the opening note (Chris Coupe)
  • No you guys, look! ‘Gullible’ really is written on the ceiling! (Rebecca Coatsworth).


At their age, it is understandable if they are not entirely engaged with the rest of the service;

  • The young chorister enjoyed a quick nap during the sermon (Mark Parry)
  • Oh, no, not another boring sermon (Christopher Morgan)
  • The junior chorister had not yet mastered the skill of stifling a yawn (William Clocksin)
  • A yawn between two robes (Julia Hargreaves)
  • The other two had managed to suppress their yawns, despite this extra choir practice (Richard Hough)
  • See no interest, have no interest, bored now (Shayne Ardron).


Some of the other entries that amused us:

  • I’m sure cathedral canons are getting younger (Bridget Swan)
  • (John Radford)
  • Tim, I think the conductor was mouthing ‘largo’, not ‘gargle’ (Ian Barge)
  • Perhaps one day his friends will appreciate being shown how to self-administer the Heimlich manoeuvre (Ray Morris)
  • A voice crying in the wilderness (John Saxbee)
  • O Lord, open thou their lips (Mervyn Cox)
  • How much longer do we have to wait for him to hit the top note? (Janet Stockton)
  • I might be the shortest, but my ‘Hallelujahs’ are the loudest (Lesley Cope)
  • The number of cassock buttons revealed differences in churchmanship even in the junior choir (Patrick Irwin)
  • Another high note like this one, and there won’t be any stained glass left in Church (John Penny)
  • Only one of them knew the descant (Edward Mynors)
  • Holding ad hoc auditions for the choir seemed the most discreet way of hiding the leaking roof (Jacky Wise)

As ever, the winners receive some Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

Forthcoming Events

1 December 2020
Theology Slam competition opens
The competition for those aged 18-30 is back with a focus on the pandemic    Find out more

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