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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

29 November 2019

Twitter/Church of England

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk or by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 6 December.


Here is this week’s winner:

Karen Hutchinson/TwitterKaren Hutchinson/Twitter

I think we can relax. That was definitely only one Horseman
(Jennifer Maclean)

WE REPORT this week that the number of visitors to cathedrals continues to rise. The archdeacons in the photo, however, appear to have their worries:

  • In an attempt to boost visitor numbers, the Chapter of Worcester Cathedral search for another lost English monarch in a car park (John Radford)
  • Come on, old chap; let’s see if we can dig up another king to help the cathedral’s finances (Diana Jones)
  • The Chapter realised that there may have been a few crossed wires when they had accepted the offer of a weekly deposit to help with the upkeep of the rose garden (George Frost).

Several other readers remembered Leicester Cathedral’s surprise discovery:

  • Historians had argued that a medieval royal prince had been buried below what is now the car park, and the Canons had been asked to suggest where excavations should start (Richard Hough)
  • The archdeacons arrived a little too late to give Richard III the last rites (Paul Jenkins)
  • Dig here, and we should find Richard III’s horse (Dru Brooke-Taylor)
  • If that turns out to be King Arthur, we’ll put Leicester back in their place (Doug Chaplin).

Examining mess is, after all, in the job description of an archdeacon:

  • Although the archdeacons knew that their job sometimes meant cleaning up messes, they thought that it was starting to get ridiculous (Mandy Marler)
  • As the archdeacon said to the bishop, ‘That’s another fine mess you’ve got me into’ (Paulette Yallop)
  • We’d better get that cleared up quickly before Messy Church takes on a whole new meaning (Daphne Foster)
  • Can we do a quick cover-up? (Janet Stockton)
  • Your bucket or mine? (Richard Soanes)
  • Where’s the diocesan registrar when you need him? (Stuart Jones)
  • That puddle isn’t big enough for me to lay my cloak down for you, my fellow Archdeacon (Dave Blake)
  • Your dog, you clear it up (Vicky Lundberg).

Just because it’s a cathedral car park doesn’t mean that the usual rules don’t apply.

  • The battle over the last remaining cathedral parking-space now under way. Lines are drawn, copes are donned — let the battle commence (Gary Clink)
  • On Sundays and holy days, the cathedral car-park attendants wore special high-vis uniforms (David Smith)
  • The parable of the lost coin in the car park was being re-enacted by the Bishops (Michael Foster)
  • Round here, the churchmanship is more SUV than PEV (Alexander Faludy).

Unsurprisingly, we had a couple of General Election-themed entries:

  • As the Church will be occupied on 12 December, the polling booths will have to be placed there (Chris Coupe)
  • The pro-hunting candidate lost his deposit (John Saxbee).

Some other entries that amused us (space meant that there wasn’t room to publish more):

  • What a cheek — the cathedral organist has taken the last taxi (Brian Stevenson);
  • The Church of England believed in grass-roots ministry in a post-industrial age (Patrick Irwin)
  • All I did was text the Church of Scotland about our next meeting: ‘We’ll chair. Ta, Mac’ (Michael Doe)
  • And there was the portal through which Lyra finally escaped us (Paul Clifford)
  • Now we know what it would look like if Daleks got religion: ‘Excommunicate! Excommunicate!’ (Ray Morris)
  • . . . And those skid marks were left by the Bishop of Norwich when he retired! (Bob Baker)
  • The inclusion of horses at the cathedral’s service for pets had created problems in the precinct (Mark Parry)
  • He was there two seconds ago. It must be the Rapture (Peter M. Potter)
  • Oh dear, George, this is definitely a church-plant in our car park, and it’s being fed for speedy growth (Sue Chick)
  • I asked for something good to go with the Roses for the Bishop: I forgot to say that they were the chocolates (Clive Deverell)
  • Looking for signs of new life? No, I think that could be the green shoots of a magic money tree (Brian Withington)
  • I’m sure there was a police box here a minute ago (Jeremy Fletcher).

As ever, the winner receives Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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20 September 2021
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Author Jarel Robinson-Brown in conversation with Rev. Winnie Varghese.

25 September 2021
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