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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

27 September 2019


Have a go at our next caption competition (above, featuring the Bishop of Southwell & Nottingham at the penalty spot) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 4 October.


PAPAHere is this week’s winner:

What’s all the fuss about how we travel, Meghan? I’ve just found out about the Holy Family’s flight into Egypt (Ray Morris) 


WE HAD imagined that the Duke of Cambridge preferred to communicate using WhatsApp — but perhaps his grandmother prefers more traditional methods:

  • Granny has these at Buckingham Palace! (Sue Chick)
  • Hi, Granny. I’ve got Meghan on the mobile. She wants to know if you could come to ours next Saturday and officially open our new barbecue (Ray Taylor)
  • Hi, Granny. When you decide on the succession, remember Esau and Jacob, and choose the hairy one (Michael Doe)
  • I may be a modern prince, but I can still remember how to use an old-fashioned phone (Ben Woods)
  • Guess what, Gran? They’ve just asked me to play one of the Three Kings in this year’s nativity (Lynda Sebbage)
  • Archie’s got a tooth (Michael Watts).

Perhaps the use of mobiles is frowned on at Buckingham Palace:

  • Meghan, great news! I’ve won the church raffle. It’s a book of prayers from 1662 (Clive Deverell)
  • Meghan wanted to know where her mobile phone had gone (Brian Stevenson)
  • The takeaway will be ready in 15 minutes? OK, I’ll send the royal limo to collect it (Chris Coupe).

It seems that the media furore about private jets finally got to them:

  • Is that Ryanair? Harry Windsor here. Two return tickets to Tokyo. Steerage, please (Ian Barge)
  • Well, Michelle from EasyJet, that really is a good price. But give me a minute — I have RyanAir on the other line (Andrew Greenhough)
  • What? The Ryanair flights are all booked? We’ll just have to take a private jet (Chris Elliott).

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • The carbon-offsetting hotline featured a chic eco-friendly Bakelite handset (Richard Barnes)
  • Yes, Your Holiness, I would be delighted to play polo against the Vatican (Patrick Irwin)
  • I talked Lambeth Palace into two weeks in an African game reserve, post tour with Archbishop Justin; all good (Vicky Lundberg)
  • I’m sixth place in the queue now (Richard Hough)
  • Archie-episcopal support? Ha! Wonderful! (Paul Brett)
  • I have a really low quote, darling. Only four million for the renovation of our Windsor cottage! (Mark Parry)
  • His left hand knoweth not what his right hand doeth (Daphne Foster)
  • Prince Harry continues to be thankful that he’s never likely to become head of the C of E (Martin Joss)
  • I’ll call you back — it’s the next episode of The Crown (John Lloyd)
  • The embodiment of good news received (Richard Strudwick)
  • A celebrity auctioneer took telephone bids for the manuscript of his grandmother’s new book, The Truth About Prime Ministers (Stephen Disley)
  • Yes, I have my ‘wings’; so I will be happy to be the flying bishop of Kensington and the US (Philip Baxter)
  • Hi, I just saw your advert on TV about elderly parents’ helping their children with an equity release mortgage on their home. Is there any limit on the size of the property? (Tilly C). 

As ever, the winner receives Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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