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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

by
11 October 2019

diocese of worcester

Have a go at our next caption competition (right, featuring the Bishops of Worcester and Liverpool on a climbing wall) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 25 October.

diocese of southwell & nottinghamdiocese of southwell & nottingham

Here is this week’s winner:

The bishop, remembering St Paul’s exhortations, forgot what was behind, and, straining towards what was ahead, pressed on towards the goal
(Alison Rollin)

IT IS not very often that a bishop is presented with an open goal — but can he make the most of it? Readers were divided:

  • “Give the Bishop an open goal,” they said. “What can go wrong?” (Jeremy Fletcher)
  • Mile-wide smiles from the gathering congregation meant the Bishop’s wild shot was at least a mitre wide from goal (Colin Hooper)
  • Scoring goals and saving souls (Alison Parry)
  • Another Bishop scoring an own goal? (Chris Coupe)
  • Jesus saves! (Robert Dimmick)
  • OK, it’s an own goal, but the result still has to be respected (John Saxbee);
  • Hopefully, the Bishop’s sermons had more power and direction than his penalty kicks (Chris Parry)
  • Reciting the mantra ‘younger, wider, deeper’, Bishop Paul took off his mitre and buried it in the back of the net (Richard Barnes).

Perhaps this is the next stage of the Renewal and Reform process:

  • The clergy assumed the training day would begin with worship, but Bishop Paul preferred to start with a demonstration of the off-side rule (Jo Saunders)
  • The diocesan staff were not keen on Bishop Paul’s weekly team-building exercise (Vicky Lundberg)
  • Fresh Expressions, maybe, but, unfortunately, no spectators (Peter Sebbage)
  • The Bishop’s staff group always finished their meetings on a winning note (Roger Knight).

Or maybe the Bishop is sensing a new calling:

  • Hoping for a return to League football next season, the hunt is now on for new talent at Notts County (Richard Crockett)
  • Signing the Bishop because Man. City have Jesus was a huge clerical error (Andrew Greenhough)
  • The Bishop offered to be substitute for his local team, but, unfortunately, no one told him there was super glue on the bottom of his boot (Lynda Sebbage).

Some other entries for readers’ amusement:

  • Sponsored by Mitre? (Chris Hammett)
  • Someone should warn Tom. Red card for leading with that many studs (Ian Barge)
  • Officials were uncertain from the wording whether the off-side rule applied to bishops (Richard Hough)
  • Songs of Praise meets Match of the Day (Patrick Irwin)
  • During the therapy session, the Bishop was encouraged to express how he really felt about his troublesome priests (Michael Foster)
  • The Bishop was a predictable straight down the middle man (Brian Stevenson)
  • Sadly for the Bishop, his left foot didn’t know what his right foot was doing (Marcus Booth);
  • It’s harder to score with the keeper in place (Peter Sebbage)
  • The Crown Appointments Commission decided that selecting the next Archbishop by a penalty shoot-out would be much easier and quicker (Mervyn Cox)
  • Are you sure this is where I should stand? (David Pickersgill)
  • As the Bishop gave the ball a mighty kick, he was reminded of 2 Corinthians 5.9: ‘So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away’ (Lesley Cope)
  • Oh, my! How am I going to ensure my language is not too unparliamentary, when I miss this? (Clive Deverell).

As ever, the winner receives Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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