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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

13 December 2019


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Send your entries by email to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk or by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 20 December.


Here are this week’s winners:

Twitter/Church of EnglandTwitter/Church of England

Tired of being “outdone” by the Pope’s Swiss Guard, the Archbishop decided to invest in a nuclear deterrent (George Frost)

The new Lambeth lights delight Justin — now he can watch his phlox by night (Bryan Gadd)


ENTRIES to this week’s competition focused more on the lighting than on the ominous button that the Archbishop is about to press:

  • Obviously, the purple is only during Advent and Lent. They turn green during Ordinary Time (Andrew Greenhough)
  • Lambeth floodlighting catches up with Advent colours (Richard Hough)
  • The Archbishop gave ‘Purple Haze’ a whole new meaning (Lesley Cope)
  • Archbishop Justin was pleased with Lambeth Palace’s interpretation of ‘Lighten our darkness’ (Michael Foster).


The launch of the C of E’s Christmas campaign #Follow the Star has not been hitch-free, it seems:

  • At the launch of #Follow the Star, Archbishop Justin apologised that, owing to light pollution, you couldn’t actually see any stars (Chris Coupe)
  • Will this button light up the star we’re following? (Sue Chick)
  • The Archbishop told them to ‘Follow the star,’ but not one was to be seen (Brian Stevenson)
  • Another own goal for the C of E: it launches #Follow the Star when there’s not a star in sight (unless you count the Archbishop) (Peter M. Potter)
  • There was mounting excitement as people awaited the result of the Archbishop’s Lotto draw to select the Magi chosen to lead the procession in this year’s #Follow the Star Epiphany service (Daphne Foster)


Some other entries that we enjoyed: 

  • Security officials were alarmed that the Archbishop and President Trump were standing at the wrong buttons. In two minutes, the Archbishop was going to launch a nuclear strike on Moscow (Patrick Irwin)
  • In another Fresh Expression, Lambeth Palace decided to launch a book of purple prose for Advent to replace the traditional Advent prose (John Radford)
  • £1-million of SDF, and I still can’t get Santa and his reindeer on the Palace roof (Richard Barnes)
  • The Three Wise Men haven’t seen nothing yet. . . Light it up! (Elvira Oredein)
  • I know God said there’d be light in the darkness, but did he have to mean me? (Robert Shooter) 
  • The Archbishop had to moonlight selling papers to make ends meet (Mervyn Cox)
  • Regrets, I have a few. I hope all these bulbs are LEDs: I have just declared a climate emergency (Clive Deverell)
  • You light up my life and you light up my house! (Johnny Douglas)
  • On the first night of the Lambeth Conference, it became clear why the Archbishop had taken personal charge of the room allocation (Deiniol Heywood).


As ever, the winner receives Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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