Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

09 March 2018

John Chitham

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

The prize for the next caption competition is a collection of Divine Easter eggs, worth £30

(We couldn’t resist another snow scene.)


Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 16 March.


Here is the winner from our last caption-competition photo, from the Winter Olympics:

PAIncome from lettings increased when the baptismal pool froze Valerie Budd

Church cleaning was at the forefront of readers’ minds:

  • She was sure she could convince the Vicar that competitive floor-mopping was the way to keep the young people involved (Stephen Disley)

  • All that training, sweeping up after Messy Church, paid off (Valerie Budd)

  • The new organiser of church cleaning was taking her job rather too seriously (Vicky Lundberg)

  • On their winter vacation, the women were able to take a break from their usual duties of polishing and sweeping (Alison Rollin)

Other television spectacles came to mind:

  • After conferring, the contestants on Countdown on Ice agreed that the third number in the sequence was 112 (Ray Morris)

  • The con­testants on How Clean is my Rink? were putting all their effort into their cleaning (Chris Coupe)

  • Some scenes in the modern-dress production of Macbeth on Ice failed to carry conviction (M. J. Leppard)

But, unsurprisingly, church heating was our readers’ main preoccupation:

  • Although St Osyth’s had no heating, the church cleaning team still endeavoured to beat the 30-minute record (Peter Sebbage)

  • No one liked to admit that it was a bit cold in church, but the cleaning team certainly got to practise some new skills (Peter Richbell)

  • Although they failed to obtain a faculty for heating improvements, the PCC joyfully repurposed the central aisle and welcomed young additions to the cleaning rota (Adrian Copping)

  • And a more general weather observation: Unfortunately, owing to storm Emma the Lent Lunch had to be cancelled, but an alternative use was found for the cheese (John Radford)

A few at random:

  • Eve did a very good ‘startled’ emoticon (Bridget Swan)

  • Eve, you should know that whoever casts the last stone should be without sin — but you were greedy, wanting 2, and ended up knocking all your stones out of the house (Geoffrey Parkinson)

  • The Paul Simon song ‘Slip sliding away’ suddenly became ear-worm music (Chris Coupe) (thanks, Chris, it just did — Editor)

  • Brexit factoids and curling stones need the same preparation: both must be launched with the appropriate weight, and, more importantly, be given the correct spin to land on target (John Aves)

  • Members of the PCC were keen not to put their new ideas on ice (Lynda Sebbage)

  • Sharon realised she must have mistaken the phone number of her hairdressing salon when she enquired about curling (Richard Hough)

  • At Stonehenge, the Experimental Archaeology Unit had another look at possible ways monoliths might have been brought on-site (Richard Crockett)

  • In the name of the sweeper, and of the stone into the house he goes (Dennis Abbott)

  • Right, girls. If a seal pops up through the ice, you have a choice: a medal or a meal (Ian Barge)

Finally, a few of our favourites:

  • The caption you never thought you’d see: ‘The curling’s getting exciting’ (Bridget Swan)

  • When the women got there they found the stone had rolled away (Peter Walker)

And a pun to finish:

  • Three little curls from Seoul are we (Richard Strudwick)

Our winner once again receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine: divinechocolate.com.

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