Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

04 May 2018


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 11 May.


Here is the winner from our last caption-competition photo:

The Revd Mark HewerdineThe Archdeacon was cutting down on his phone bill - Eric Lishman

EVERY so often, we like the caption competition to nod in the direction of the liturgical year. This week’s picture was something of a gift:

  • The Holy Spirit always conducted a reconnaissance before Pentecost (Patrick Irwin)

  • OK, it’s a deal, you can stay if you promise to be my visual aid on Whit Sunday (John Saxbee)

  • This was the curate’s first encounter with the Holy Spirit, and he wasn’t sure how to react (Rosemary Maskell)

Some readers’ thoughts turned immediately to cleanliness:

  • OK, I’m going to have to wash the altar linens now, as well (Bridget Swan)

  • It was going to be a wipe-clean chasuble day (David Powell)

  • Mark was thinking if he didn’t act soon there would be a new meaning to ‘Messy Church’ (Daphne Foster)

Perhaps it is time that attendance statistics took account of all of God’s creation, others appeared to suggest:

  • As a Third Order Franciscan, Jeremy took preaching to the birds very seriously (Alexander Faludy)

  • A quick rendition of ‘O for the wings of a dove’ by the Vicar emptied the church of people, but not of avian life forms (John Radford)

Stretching the concept of the pet service somewhat:

  • You’re too early: the pet service is next week (Sue Chick)

  • ‘Why is there always one damned leftover after every pet service,’ thought Graham (Vicky Lundberg).

Could this be a new form of evangelism?

  • Mark realised there was a gap in his post-ordination training: wildlife capture (Sue Chick)

  • Mmm . . . perhaps there is something to be said for the Alpha Course after all? (Ian Barge)

The digital-communications revolution emanat­ing from Church House might have passed this parish by, it seems:

  • The Vicar was relieved to see he hadn’t missed the last post. Carrier pigeon — it’s the way we’ve always done it, why would we change? (Jennie Willson)

  • Following a serious data breach, the diocese was now resorting to different methods of message delivery (Alexander Faludy)

A couple of readers’ eyes were drawn to the cushions, not the bird:

  • Next Chapter meeting’s game of one-upmanship was going to be a slam-dunk: ‘Well, last Sunday I had only a pair of cushions at morning mass, and I was grateful’ (Tom Brazier)

  • Better check: could the red one be a whoopee cushion? (Claire Wilson)

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • Me and my family have always perched on this pew, and I’m not moving now (John Saxbee)

  • Oh no, it’s the Flying Bishop (Eric Lishman)

  • Funny how the churchwardens are never around when you need them (Chris Coupe)

  • Mark and his companion here, live in the same town, and they are both collared. For some dating sites, that would be enough to make them a match. . . (Andrew Greenhough)

  • The collared dove and the collared guv (Bridget Swan)

  • He’d fallen for the ‘clocks forward another hour’ April Fools’ trick (Richard Barnes)

  • The pigeon had heard that there were always ungathered crumbs under the table in the church (Mervyn Cox)

  • St Francis’s is just down the road (Valerie Budd)

  • Honestly, it’s OK. We gave up blood sacrifice a couple of thousand years ago (Stephen Disley)


Our winner once again receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine: divinechocolate.com.

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