Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

by
03 August 2018

Clive Lawrence

Have a go at our next caption competition: the Bishop of Burnley, the Rt Revd Philip North (right), watches a fiery magic routine

Have a go at our next caption competition: the Bishop of Burnley, the Rt Revd Philip North (right), watches a fiery magic routine

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 6 July.

Here is the winner from our last caption-competition photo:

Lambeth Palace/TwitterThe Bishops’ Teaching Document on Human Sexuality: now that the long grass has dried up, the ball must be kept in the air Michael Doe   There’s no long grass, but maybe I can head it into the shrubbery Richard BarnesThe Bishops’ Teaching Document on Human Sexuality: now that the long grass has dried up, the ball must be kept in the air (Michael Doe)

There’s no long grass, but maybe I can head it into the shrubbery (Richard Barnes)

 

THE C of E was not immune to World Cup fever, as this week’s picture of the Bishop at Lambeth, the Rt Revd Tim Thornton, demonstrated.

Some (but not all) of the entries were football-focused:

  • Football’s coming home . . . to a church near you (Patrick Irwin)

  • Driven mad by the heatwave and the suffocating boredom of the General Synod, the Bishop imagined he was Harry Kane heading the winning goal for England in the World Cup final (Mervyn Cox)

  • He thought it was all over . . . and he was right! (Richard Strudwick)

  • Getting Truro’s central defender on a free transfer proves to be a real coup for Team Welby (John Saxbee)

  • The Bishop decided his diocese would concentrate on football as they couldn’t win at cricket (Chris Coupe)

  • The Bishop was looking heavenward (as he often did) when the neighbour’s football appeared from the clouds (Lynda Sebbage)

  • Bishop wins Spot the Ball competition (Bryan Gadd)

  • The Bishop sought inspiration about where to place his cross in the Spot the Ball competition (Tom Keates)

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Football makes for fertile pun territory, of course:

  • Definitely another Synod balls-up (Paul Lishman)

  • Not another own goal by the C of E! (Ian Barge)

  • The Archbishop had asked him to keep all the balls in the air, but this task seemed to be too easy (Richard Hough)

  • So God did want to play ball after all (Alison Rollin)

  • Our Church needs clear goals, but am I expected to head it? (Janet Stockton)

  • The conference on ‘Is the Church heading in the right direction?’ was going well (Michael Foster)

There were some impressive theological parallels offered:

  • The Bishop’s illustration of the Ascension never seemed to work, especially when he put his head to it (Philip Baxter)

  • Ascension is so much easier to deal with than dissension (John Appleby)

  • The Holy Spirit can descend in many different guises (Sarah Maxwell)

Archdeacons seem to come to mind, whatever the picture:

  • The Bishop was stunned by the new Archdeacon (Bridget Swan)

  • The Bishop always practised his mind-control techniques before his weekly meeting with the archdeacons (Christopher Tookey)

Some other entries that amused us:

  • Bishop Tim realised too late that the balloon had gone up (John Radford)

  • Oh, Bishop, why stand ye gazing up to Heaven? Surely you know that Lambeth Palace is already occupied (Daphne Foster)

  • The Bishop was enthralled by a ‘dark terrestial ball’ (David Nash)

  • The Bishop’s shadow was a shadow of its former self (Sue Chick)

  • Raindrops keep falling on my head. What raindrops? (Peter Sebbage)

  • Bishop admits that some things are above his head. (John Risby)

  • Crown him, ye morning stars of light, who fixed this floating ball” — sang the prelate, but to little or no avail (Philip Deane)

  • Graham’s first lesson on flying drones was a bit tame, he felt (Vicky Lundberg)

  • Panic at Lambeth as Tim discovered the first of GAFCON’s spy satellites (David Hill)

And, finally, thanks to our previous winner for another limerick:

  • Wherever, from Carlisle to Reading, Episcopal street cred needs spreading, Forget confirmations, Eschew ordinations, You bishops — just practise your heading (Paul Clifford)

As always, the winners receive a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine: divinechocolate.com.

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