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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

23 November 2018

diocese of norwich

Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 9 November.


Here’s this week’s winner:diocese of lincolndiocese of lincoln


The Mini Police were closing in on the crook

(Jennifer Maclean)


SOME weeks, the caption-competition editor spends inordinate amounts of time searching for a suitable picture. Other weeks, one arrives in the inbox, as if taken specifically for this page. This week was one such week.

First, some of the more political entries:

  • “Even the police were downsized in Brexit Britain” (Patrick Irwin).
  • “It was the Bishop’s opinion that cuts to the police budget had gone too far” (Michael Foster).
  • “Downsizing of the police force was a false economy, as greater numbers had to be called out” (John Appleby).
  • “Police numbers? Bishop sees for himself just how short they are” (John Saxbee).
  • “The alternative to police cuts is to recruit shorter officers” (Janet Stockton).

It is important to remember that nobody is above the law (whether ecclesiastical or of the land):

  • “The police had manoeuvred the Bishop ready for his mug shot” (Chris Coupe).
  • “Hold it there, Rev! We’re all communion police officers, and that woman has not been confirmed” (Ian Barge).
  • “He had never been told before that his sermons were an arresting experience” (Michael Doe).
  • “The Bishop was beginning to wonder why the Mini Police were gradually edging towards him, when he suddenly remembered that he had left his car parked on double yellow lines” (Mark Parry).
  • “The head teacher had been worried that the Bishop’s visit might cause some disruption, and made sure her security team were in place” (Richard Hough).

This could all be the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding:

  • “The diocesan education adviser strongly suspected the Bishop had misinterpreted his lawyer’s recommendation to appoint four new Child Protection Officers” (John Eady).
  • “The Bishop had requested a small number of police for his protection, not small police” (David J. Nash).
  • “Having asked the prefects if they had enjoyed their visit to Minneapolis, the Bishop realised that he needed to consult his optician” (Ray Morris).
  • “It appeared that he was wrong in supposing his appointment was to the bishopric of Minneapolis” (Christopher Tookey).

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • “The Bishop was dreaming of a mini archdeacon” (Patrick Irwin).
  • “How many children does it take to change a bishop’s mind?” (Richard Barnes).
  • “All those confirmation sermons are finally catching up with me” (Charles Walster).
  • “The Bishop didn’t think his assembly was that bad” (Vicky Lundberg).
  • “You won’t see a bishop defending supralapsarianism in Key Stage 1 these days without serious protection” (Andrew Greenhough).
  • “How young the police are these days, Bishop Christopher pondered” (Sue Chick).
  • “When the police look like schoolchildren, you know you are getting old, Bishop Christopher mused” (Daphne Foster).
  • “Desperate measures to try to keep the peace at Messy Church” (John Hutchinson).


As always, the winner will receive a prize of free Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate: www.divinechocolate.com.

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