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Have a go at the Church Times caption competition, and read the previous winner and top entries

23 March 2018


Have a go at our next caption competition (above) and win a prize of Fairtrade chocolate!

Email your entries to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

or send by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
108-114 Golden Lane

London EC1Y 0TG

Entries must be received by Friday 6 April.


Here is the winner from our last caption-competition photo, taken during the Beast from the East.

John ChithamMany are cold but few are frozen - Derek Wellman

We received an avalanche of entries, and could find space only for a selection. But over to our readers for the puns.

First, the weather-related:

  • Snow way for a bishop to behave (Andrew Pearson)

  • It’s snow fun being a bishop (David & Anne Lindsay)

  • The diocesan finance chair confirmed that the Bishop had been frozen out of the current clergy pay round (Phillip Rice)

  • Clearly, the Bishop was in for a frosty reception at his visitation”; “Bishop Stephen was sad to be frozen out of the discussions (Sue Chick)

  • Using his favourite Author-iced Version, the visiting bishop announced his text as: ‘Sno man cometh to the Father but by me’ (Andrew Dow)

  • The Bishop was confident that all his problems would soon melt away (Richard Hough)

  • The Venerable Snowman (Mervyn Cox)

  • In Norwich, he was known as the Priest from the East (Adrian and Diane Copping)

  • Outside, there was melting and chattering of teeth (Andrew Greenhough)

There were some episcopal-dress-related puns, too:

  • How are the mitred fallen (John Appleby)

  • You mitre brought a bigger crook (Chris Taylor)

  • Mitre known I would get stranded without the popemobile. You just can’t get the staff (Dawn Rowley-White)

  • If there’s no ‘divine intervention’ then I reckon he mitre melt (Martin Rolfe)

  • The new Bishop adopted a carrot-and-stick approach (Richard Barnes)

  • The Bishop maintained discipline by using both the carrot and the stick (Michael Doe)

  • Wippell’s latest range of mitres left him cold (Peter M. Potter)

  • The Bishop’s assets have been frozen (Janet Stockton)

  • I look forward to serving my see amid the winter snow (Don Manley)

And, bafflingly, some readers connected the inclement weather with episcopal personality types:

  • The new Bishop couldn’t exactly be described as a warm person (George Frost)

  • Although the Bishop could be stiff — even a little cool, if left out — he always thawed readily if brought inside (Peter Richbell)

Not even layers of snow can distract some from the C of E’s culture wars:

  • Forward in Faith makes icily satirical response to the forthcoming appointment of the first C of E transgender bishop (Ian Barge)

  • The new gender-neutral bishop pleased everybody (Adrian Copping)

  • Not sure if this is sufficiently gender neutral for these days (Richard Hough)

Extreme weather had necessitated new forms of episcopal oversight, it seemed:

  • To the accompaniment of ‘Walking in the Air’, the new ‘flying bishop’ was ready to minister to those unable to get to church owing to the snow (John Radford)

  • As ‘flying bishops’ go, this one was a non-starter (Patrick Irwin)

  • I’m the roaming frozen bishop for all those who are stuck (Robert Shooter)

Everything comes back to Brexit these days:

  • The Bishop of Leicester, I presume — or could it be Southampton? (Richard Wise)

  • Bishops are feeling the effects of Brexit as Europe freezes us out (C. Morgan)

  • Bishop Snow’s opinion on Brexit was thawing a little, but he was still a Remainer (Clare Griffiths)

Some tributes to a comic great:

  • The Diddy Men’s own Bishop stood ready for Ken Dodd’s funeral (Vicky Lundberg)

  • The Chancellor reluctantly rejected the parish’s proposed memorial to Ken Dodd’s unforgettable Christmas charity concert (Ray Morris)

Some other entries that we enjoyed:

  • The Beast from the East has added significantly to the diocesan slush fund (N. Collins)

  • Now, children, which one is the crook? (Peter Walker)

  • The Archdeacon fooled nobody with his undercover visitation (Eric Lishman)

  • The Bishop may be made of snow, but the Archdeacon is made of ice (Jonnie Parkin)

  • They’d requested a harmless bishop; unfortunately, their spokesperson was a Cockney (Alison Rollin)

  • If somebody hadn’t forgotten the scarf, I could have been walking in the air by now (Ray Goode)

  • The Arctic See (Richard Strudwick)

  • New Bishop of Aberdeen & Orkney consecrated (David Powell)

  • With a thaw forecast, Bishop Snow’s days as Bishop of Leicester are numbered (Peter Beal)

  • There is little doubt that Bishop Snow’s influence will become less when the warmer weather returns (Michael Watts)

  • The first Anglican-Methodist bishop waits for a thaw in ecumenical relations (John Saxbee)


Our winner this week received a collection of Divine Easter eggs, worth £30. divinechocolate.com


Thu 07 Jul @ 06:44
Twelve members named for C of E commission to promote ‘mutual flourishing’ https://t.co/D4RB2MFwZx

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