Caption competition

29 September 2017


We’re also hoping to increase our numbers in the next year John Appleby

We’re also hoping to increase our numbers in the next year John Appleby

THE sartorial gags came in thick and fast this week: “Archbishop, do you think we might swap designer labels?” (Ian Barge); “I see the decade of austerity hasn’t affected your wardrobe either” (Richard Barnes); “Your splendid cope gives me ideas for the new curtains at Kensington Palace” (Richard Hough); “And I believe you got your fascinator from J. Wippell — although I’m sure other stockists were avail­able” (Nicholas Varnon).

Some thought the archiepiscopal mitre had caught the Duchess’s attention: “For my next hat I’m thinking of asking for one in your design” (Avril Rhodes); “The duchess could barely con­tain her glee that she was not the only one wearing a silly hat” (David Chamberlin); “And I thought my hat looked silly! Some­one call the fashion police” (Andrew Greenhough); “Oh, yes, let’s change hats. I fancy myself as a duchess, and you can have a go at running the Church of En­gland’’ (Peter Walker); “hTe meringue and the split-tin loaf are among the finalists at this year’s Food Hat Awards” (Don Manley).

And, of course, news of a third royal baby was not far from the minds of some readers: “I think I’ll be keeping you busy, Arch­bishop” (Chris Coupe); “I’m sorry — how many weeks would we need to attend before you would baptise my baby?” (Andrew Greenhough); “A meringue on her head and a bun in the oven?” (Peter Rivers); “I know you’re in the Pudding Club again, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear a mer­ingue on your head!” (David Wilbourne); “I’m pregnant. What’s your excuse?” (Sue Chick); “It’s a Brexit baby. We don’t know the sex and we don’t know the date, but we do know it’s a baby” (Patrick Irwin); “She was deter­mined to get him into a church school” (Edward Mynors).

Some other entries that we liked: “‘It’s like the Boat Race’, he thought to himself, “Ca­­m­­­­bridge out in front again” (John Sax­bee); “Perhaps, Kate, you could come back as Mary for our nativity play this year” (Peter Sebbage); “And what do you do?” (Eric Lishman).


There is one winner this week, who will receive our prize of Fairtrade chocolate. Thanks to Divine for once more providing it (

Forthcoming Events

21-22 February 2020
Church Times Festival of Faith and Literature
For 2020 the Bloxham festival celebrates ‘The Power of Love’. Book tickets

26 March 2020
Theology Slam Live Final
Theology Slam is back, continuing its search for the most engaging young voices on theology and the contemporary world. Find out more

Job of the Week



Latest Cartoon

The Church Times Archive

Read reports from issues stretching back to 1863, search for your parish or see if any of the clergy you know get a mention.

FREE for Church Times subscribers.

Explore the archive

Welcome to the Church Times

​To explore the Church Times website fully, please sign in or subscribe.

Non-subscribers can read five articles for free each month. (You will need to register.)