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Caption competition

21 July 2017


Well, look who has the upper hand Ian Falconer

Well, look who has the upper hand Ian Falconer

ONE of the winners of the last caption competition, featuring a dinosaur in Ely Cathedral, was George Frost, with “The DUP weren’t going to like this.” His entry this time: “The DUP were going to like this.”

There were other references link­­ing the two photos: “Bring back the dinosaurs: all is for­­given” (Richard Strudwick); and ”At least there wasn’t a dinosaur in the room — or was there?” (Chris Coupe).

Derek Wellman attached a photo of that week’s Private Eye cover with a similar photo (“The Church Times had entered into full com­munion with Private Eye). Naturally, we expect a higher stand­ard of our readers.

There were two common themes, of which the following were the best examples: “In re­tro­­s­pect, the PM shouldn’t have let the deal be decided by arm-wrestling” (George Frost); and ”Referen­dums had failed, then elections, and now the fallback option of stone, paper, scissors was also failing to produce decisive results” (John Swanson).

Given the DUP’s stance on same-­sex marriage, more than a few could not resist. “Very defin­itely not the first same-sex marriage ce­­remony in an Anglican church” (Vicky Lund­berg); “Bishops’ Teach­­ing Doc­u­­­ment: Figure 1: The same-sex handshake” (Richard Barnes); ”During the signing of the register, the choir will sing ‘Ten Reasons’” (Richard Barnes); “Even a £1-billion pre-nuptial agreement failed to make the mar­riage gay” (Erik Wilson); “The registrar invited the couple to join hands — and wondered how such a modest wedding with few guests could in­­volve a £1-billion gift” (Avril Rhodes); “Amazingly, no one could prove a just impedi­ment” (Richard Martin).

And it has been Wimbledon season, after all. “After a record-breaking rally, it was game, set, and match to the DUP team” (Jonathan Haigh).

Who knew that our readers in­­cluded so many prac­t­ical jokers? “Every­one was waiting to see who had bought a hand buzzer from the joke shop” (Vicky Lundberg) and “Theresa May did not look as if she would find the palm buzzer too funny in view of the costs in­­volved in the agreement” (John Radford).

We sense that not all of our readers are con­­vinced by the deal: “Con­­gra­tula­tions. You’re the first to benefit from Mrs May’s money-tree policy” (John Sax­bee); “It is cer­tainly the peace of God; for it pas­seth all under­standing” (Eric Lishman); “Both Jeffrey Donald­son and the Chief Whip were counting their fingers before they shook hands” (Chris Coupe); “I know that none of us under­stands our agreement, but, if we group ourselves sym­metrically
for the photo, the voters might well be convinced that we know what we are doing”
(Andrew Ward); “You will feel your hand moving myster­iously towards your cheque­book” (John Appleby).

As usual, some puns: “It was hoped that this agreement May Foster the beginning of a new relationship” (Michael Foster, no relation); “Arlene fosters a deal, but Theresa may regret it” (Ian Falconer).

Some other entries that we en­­joyed are: “Michelangelo’s The Creation of Mayhem(Richard Barnes); ”It’s like hell — you can’t see the fire for politicians”; “Arlene counts her chickens” (Richard Hough); “Two puppets each and no visible strings — well done, girls!” (Alison Rollin); “And Ian Paisley saw that it was good” (Edward Mynors); “Ouch! Now I know what a masonic hand­shake feels like” (Ian Barge); “Spot the winners” (Ray Goode).

One winner this week, with a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, kindly supplied by Divine (divinechocolate.com).

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