Caption competition

by
10 November 2017

ALL SAINTS’, BASINGSTOKE

Let’s have the famous ‘Cake Hymn’, ‘Icing the mighty power of God’ Tom Page

Let’s have the famous ‘Cake Hymn’, ‘Icing the mighty power of God’ Tom Page

WE WERE inundated with entries for this week’s caption competition. Sadly, we have space to publish only a selection.

It was perhaps inevitable that this week’s picture would invite puns and references to violence. (Some even managed to combine both.)

Let’s start with the puns: “The Bishop knew that he would be skating on thin icing” (Andy Macqueen); “Come down, O knife divine” (Patrick Irwin); “As his sermon didn’t cut much ice, he thought he’d try the icing” (John Saxbee); “He wasn’t used to cutting cakes, but he said he’d have a stab at it” (Alison Rollin); “A Bishop making cuts in his diocese?” (Chris Coupe); “Icing — a new song to the Lord” (John Appleby).

And the violence: “‘I could mur­der a cake,’ said the Bishop” (David Wilbourne); “The Bishop said, ‘Now children, never mind the sixth command­ment, I could murder a cake’” (Edward Chase); “Just imagine it’s the Arch­deacon!” (Patrick Irwin); “It’s a role reversal, Bishop. The Dean has the knife. He’s right be­­hind you” (Cathe­rine Tay­lor).

It appears that The Great British Bake Off’s migration to Channel 4 stopped our readers watc­­h­­ing: “The BBC’s latest wheeze was to combine Songs of Praise with The Great British Bake Off (Patrick Irwin); “The final of the Diocesan Junior Bake Off com­­petition was rather a let-down. The en­­trants thought that they would get Paul Holly­­wood, not just the Bishop” (Vicky Lundberg); “This didn’t win me Bake Off, but I’m hoping to go on Strictly (Valerie Budd); “He was determined to reach the final of the Great Bishops’ Bake Off (Michael Foster); “Just one last ceremony before they were dedicated to their new Patron: St Mary Berry” (Jeremy Fletcher).

“And Abraham looked up, and there in the thicket was a ram caught by its horns. . .” (Andrew Green­hough); “The children finally under­­stood why clergy wore aprons and bishops had chef’s hats” (Richard Barnes); “I know, Tom, I said that with Jesus you can have your cake and eat it, but it was a metaphor” (Robert Shooter); “The Bishop’s illustra­tion of the Trinity as one cake with three slices was rather lost on the young confirmands” (Kate Morris); “The glint in the Bishop’s eye put the icing on the cake to the Sunday school’s day on ‘Original Sin’” (Alan Mustoe).

One reader dug up some painful memories of the diocese’s relation­ship with Jersey and Guernsey: “Yes, children, I was just reminding the Vicar what happened to the Channel Islands” (Andy Mac­queen).

And some other entries that we enjoyed: “Mrs Disley’s icing proved difficult to penetrate” (David Hanford); “Right, you two! Who’s been messing about with the Superglue?” (Ian Barge); “What’s that you say, Chaplain? I’ve got diocesan synod after this?!” (Che R. Seabourne); “Finally, drizzle with lemon juice, and serve” (Barry Lear); “At last, Bishop David felt he knew how Jael felt with the tent peg in her hand” (Pen Potter); “‘Evanesco’, the Bishop said, but the knife didn’t entirely disappear” (Sue Chick); “We’ll soon find out if it has a soggy bottom” (Bridget Swan); “Mrs Blenkinsopp’s cakes always had to be killed before they could be eaten” (Eric Lish­­man); “Win­chester’s new safeguarding policy clearly needed some fine tuning” (David Wil­bourne).

A prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine (divinechocolate.com), goes to the winner.

TwitterHave a go at our next caption competition. Send your entries by Friday 17 November. by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition Church Times 3rd floor Invicta House 108-114 Golden Lane London EC1Y 0TG

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