Caption competition

by
27 May 2016

The PCC felt the first twinges of panic when the vicar introduced the new curate George Frost Here’s a church, the vicar’s the steeple, but the people all seem to be naturists Richard Barnes

The PCC felt the first twinges of panic when the vicar introduced the new curate George Frost Here’s a church, the vicar’s the steeple, bu...

WE ARE always pleased when readers submit photos for the caption competition. Sometimes, even, the subjects have given permission.

The last competition attracted many entries. Here is a selection: “‘I shall make four more,’ said Rupert happily, ‘but they may prove quite a handful’” (Margaret Wallis); “And here is Graham before the Year 10 assembly. The after-assembly photo is not pretty” (Vicky Lundberg); and “At some winter evensongs, he had only himself to preach to” (Edward Mynors).

More at random: “The Archbishops had ordained a wave of prayer” (Richard Barnes); “The Bishop was intrigued by the finger food on offer’’ (Peter Walker); “Talk to the finger, ’cos the face ain’t listening” (Richard Woods); and “He found a way of ensuring that his chaplain was always on hand” (John Saxbee).

Readers ran through the popular finger idioms, adapted to suit the situation: “Horace found he could wrap the new curate round his little finger” (Rosemary Corfield); “Few clergy will lift a finger to support a colleague, but Gary was a shining exception” (Tom Corfield); and “Time one or two of the clergy pulled their finger out and started preaching seriously” (Don Manley).

Two ideas from Richard Hough that should not be associated too closely together: “Fr Peter proudly displayed his new travelling loo-brush” and “His family were getting very tired of the new ear-tickler joke.” And should we mention: “The Church unveils a new contraceptive” (George Frost)? Probably not.

On safer grounds:Rev reimagined for CBeebies” (Richard Barnes); “This is plainly the way to the purly gates” (Sue Chick); “Two little dickie birds, sitting on a wall, one named Peter. . .” (Sue Evans); and “So who’s working whom?” (Chris Coupe). Also “He just couldn’t wait to get the members of the PCC on the fingers of his other hand” (Bill Scott); “Come back, Sooty, all is forgiven” (Richard Strudwick); and “But where was the rest of his personalised glove?” (Tom Page).

We particularly liked: “The Curate’s new puppet ministry showed the obvious signs of a lack of funding” (Chris Coupe); “Bishops pride themselves on having the clergy’s particulars at their fingertips” (John Saxbee); and “Fr Bob had a Diploma in Digital Theology” (Richard Barnes).

Two winners of this week’s prize of Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (www.divinechocolate.com).

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