Caption Competition

by
22 April 2016

Reuters

If we leave the EU, you will be unable to watch this. (This entry is sponsored by HM Government.) Ray Morris

If we leave the EU, you will be unable to watch this. (This entry is sponsored by HM Government.) Ray Morris

SHOW Church Times readers a photo with water in it, and baptism immediately comes to mind: “The tourists were amused by the baptism service of the local Unorthodox church” (Mervyn Cox); “Fortunately, unwillingness to submit to total immersion was not considered an impediment to valid baptism” (Christopher Tookey); and “After worries about declining numbers, the Bishop decided to advocate surprise baptisms of unsuspecting passers-by” (David Sims).

It’s good to get the puns out of the way early: “Around the world, Easter is often celebrated in ways which we find rather bizarre, but what is depicted here is beyond the pail” (Tom Corfield); and “Water into whine” (Robert Shooter).

More general entries: “Brother Nathan was over-enthusiastic with the Asperges” (Richard Barnes); “They promised to splash out on their sister’s big day” (John Saxbee); “A more direct approach was taken to get people to join the tea-and-coffee rota” (Chris Coupe); “The observer from the UN Committee on the Status of Women had it all on camera” (Valerie Budd); and “There weren’t any actual volunteers, so. . .” (Bridget Swan).

Back to baptism: “The Vicar only had time to fit in either a baptism or a wedding; so they decided to combine the two” (John Hutchinson); “Susan was adamant that she didn’t want her baptism to be by immersion, but the worship team outwitted her” (Valerie Budd); and “With limited village facilities, this was the best they could manage for a full-immersion baptism” (Michael Foster).

Sometimes we wonder about the thought-associations our readers make: “Going into a trance, the subject began to exude ectoplasm” (Peter Walker); and “It’s the closest you’ll get to a wet-T-shirt competition in this neck of the woods” (Richard Barnes).

We also had: “And men wonder why they have lost the vote, thought the girls of the late 21st century” (Vicky Lundberg); “Elena had cheated in the Easter-egg hunt” (Brian Stevenson); “Maria thought she had received enough holy water to last her a lifetime” (Richard Hough); and “The new Lutheran rite for the Churching of Women was proving very popular — with the men” (Geoffrey Robinson).

Away from the baptism theme, we had: “Mary shed joyous floods of tears when she was told that her offshore account dividend could help repair the thatch on the church” (Nicholas Varnon); “The Have-a-go-at-the-churchwarden stall always did well at the annual church fete” (Edward Mynors); and “Hildegard’s bad-hair day didn’t get any worse” (Peter Sebbage).

Among our favourites: “It may have been Heidi’s 39th unsought rendition of numbers from The Sound of Music that caused the villagers finally to crack” (Margaret Wallis); “I hate portable fonts” (David Hill); and “Drastic measures had to be adopted to quell the outbreak of folk dancing” (Stephen Disley).

One winner this week, who will receive a supply of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine (www.divinechocolate.com).

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