Caption Competition

by
14 October 2016

Reuters

Following biblical principles, the Donald didn’t want his right hand to know what his left hand was doing. Tom Page Behind every great woman there’s a . . . Patrick Irwin

Following biblical principles, the Donald didn’t want his right hand to know what his left hand was doing. Tom Page Behind every great woman th...

OUR last caption-competition photo was from the first of the TV debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. After the second debate on Sunday night, we might not have suggested this as a comedy moment.

Maybe a pantomime tone is the best to adopt: "He’s behind you. . . Oh yes, he is!” (Jonathan Haigh); or “He’s (not that far) behind you!” (Richard Barnes). Or perhaps something biblical: "With a mighty hand, and with an outstretched arm, and with great terribleness (Deutero­nomy 26.8)” (M. J. Leppard).

A few at random: “Sadly, both candidates seem to have turned their backs on the Constitu­tion” (John Saxbee); "Donald Trump once more trying to sell something that’s not for sale” (Chris Coupe); and "Hillary had her Eric Morecambe impression bang on; unfortunately, you could see Donald’s join” (Bridget Swan).

The disembodied arm attracted a lot of interest: "Trump asserts his right to bear arms” (Richard Barnes); "Give me your hand, and we’ll give her a good election push” (Janet Stockton); "We’ve both got paper again. Scissors would have been much more use to me just now” (Eric Lishman); and "Thank you, Vlad­imir, but I can manage on my own” (Patrick Irwin).

Michelangelo was invoked: "I’m afraid that his visit to the Sistine Chapel rather went to Donald’s head” (Don Manley); “Can you believe that? Now he wants to model for the Sistine ceiling restoration” (Richard Crockett); and "Just as God reached out to create Adam, he realised he had already created the superior upgrade” (Tim Robinson).

But it was not all compliments for Mrs Clinton: "Pass me a new battery: she has run out” (Brian Simmons); "Thanks for the help, son. Her battery’s out now and she should seize up any minute” (Eric Lishman); "Sorry, the other hand is working the puppet” (Philip Hesketh); and "Nothing gives me greater pleasure
than winding up Hillary”
(Peter Walker).

Finally: "I don’t know what he’s doing now, but my jaw has locked with forced smiles” (Eric Lishman); "Hillary remains calm as Donald gets the shakes” (Tom Page); and "Another wo­-man having to smile while a man does a deal behind her back?” (Chris Coupe).

 

Two winners this week. Our chocolate prize — Fairtrade, of course — comes once more from Divine (divinechocolate.com). Our thanks.

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