OUR last caption-competition photo was from the first of the TV debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. After the second debate on Sunday night, we might not have suggested this as a comedy moment.
Maybe a pantomime tone is the best to adopt: "He’s behind you. . . Oh yes, he is!” (Jonathan Haigh); or “He’s (not that far) behind you!” (Richard Barnes). Or perhaps something biblical: "With a mighty hand, and with an outstretched arm, and with great terribleness (Deuteronomy 26.8)” (M. J. Leppard).
A few at random: “Sadly, both candidates seem to have turned their backs on the Constitution” (John Saxbee); "Donald Trump once more trying to sell something that’s not for sale” (Chris Coupe); and "Hillary had her Eric Morecambe impression bang on; unfortunately, you could see Donald’s join” (Bridget Swan).
The disembodied arm attracted a lot of interest: "Trump asserts his right to bear arms” (Richard Barnes); "Give me your hand, and we’ll give her a good election push” (Janet Stockton); "We’ve both got paper again. Scissors would have been much more use to me just now” (Eric Lishman); and "Thank you, Vladimir, but I can manage on my own” (Patrick Irwin).
Michelangelo was invoked: "I’m afraid that his visit to the Sistine Chapel rather went to Donald’s head” (Don Manley); “Can you believe that? Now he wants to model for the Sistine ceiling restoration” (Richard Crockett); and "Just as God reached out to create Adam, he realised he had already created the superior upgrade” (Tim Robinson).
But it was not all compliments for Mrs Clinton: "Pass me a new battery: she has run out” (Brian Simmons); "Thanks for the help, son. Her battery’s out now and she should seize up any minute” (Eric Lishman); "Sorry, the other hand is working the puppet” (Philip Hesketh); and "Nothing gives me greater pleasure
than winding up Hillary” (Peter Walker).
Finally: "I don’t know what he’s doing now, but my jaw has locked with forced smiles” (Eric Lishman); "Hillary remains calm as Donald gets the shakes” (Tom Page); and "Another wo-man having to smile while a man does a deal behind her back?” (Chris Coupe).
Two winners this week. Our chocolate prize — Fairtrade, of course — comes once more from Divine (divinechocolate.com). Our thanks.