A BIT of horseplay by the Bishop of Bolton, the Rt Revd Chris
Edmondson, furnished our readers with material for their captions
Congratulations to all the "by hook or by crook" entrants. The
best of these was from David Jones: "Our motto, 'Get them
in by hook or by crook,' is quite biblical, actually, considering
all those references to fishermen and shepherds."
Full marks to Edward Mynors: "'This is a real cliché,'
muttered the Bishop, as he caught the crook at the head of his
staff." No marks to Chris Hustwick, for: "Here's
crooking at you, kid!" All right, a few grudging ones for
Richard Barnes: "O for a crosier walk with
Patrick Irwin decided to have a competition all of his own,
submitting (among others): "GAFCON recommended a hard-line
approach to evangelism"; "Ordination numbers had
rocketed since the new bishop arrived"; "Here's
one I caught earlier"; "Sheep may safely graze;
Latin American entertainers may not"; "The
Glastonbury Pilgrimage and Festival had become hopelessly
confused"; and "The Australian locum had not
realised that the English dress formally for
Some entries at random: "The Bishop wore the smile of a
man who knew what he wore under his cassock" (Chris
Coupe); "When it comes to fancy dress, no one upstages me,
son" (John Saxbee); "The Bishop's diagonal move
caught him by surprise" (Richard Barnes); and "And
I won't let Joseph go until the caption competition stops picking
on bishops" (Eric Lishman).
On the sheep theme: "The other ninety-nine escaped while
I was bringing this one back" (Valerie Budd);
"Wisely, the congregation paid absolutely no attention to
Bish and Ben's Good Shepherd sketch" (Eric Lishman); and
"The lost sheep had been having a good time, and was none
too thrilled at being found" (Alison Rollin).
We also had: "The man in the Funny Shirt Competition
decided to remove his competitor" (Chris Coupe);
"A certain amount of pressure was needed to persuade Jim to
become the next archdeacon"; and "At last he
discovered what this oddly shaped stick was for" (both
Richard Hough); "I'll teach you to mess around with
liturgical colours, my lad!" (Michael Foster); and two
from William Pett: "'Come on,' mouthed the Bishop, 'smile,
for heaven's sake - you're a Christian, now'" and
"'I'll humour him,' thought the newly appointed youth
worker, 'he's getting on a bit.'"
We always admire readers who spot something in the photograph
which was missed by others. Thus: "Where medical science
had failed, the Bishop's prayers succeeded in removing the banana
from the sufferer's ear" (Ray Morris).
And we particularly liked: "The Bishop was pleased to
catch the person who kept putting Fijian small change in the
collection plate" (Sue and/or Nigel Fulford);
"Another 'volunteer' for the working party"
(Valerie Budd); "At last, a bishop prepared to put a bit of
stick about" (John Saxbee); and "No one had warned
the Bishop about the new dress-down Sundays" (George
Two winners this week. Thanks to Divine for donating the prizes
of Fairtrade chocolate. See their good work on www.divinechocolate.com.