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Caption competition

by
06 November 2015

Rosie graves

The discovery of the only wild Biretta-Biretta had prompted Sir David Attenborough to ask if he might see the specimen for himself. Now, how do we lure it into the cage? Tom Page “Oh God, not another introverted ordinand,” moaned the DDO David Hill

The discovery of the only wild Biretta-Biretta had prompted Sir David Attenborough to ask if he might see the specimen for himself. Now, how do we lur...

READERS enjoyed our last photograph, which showed Canon Jim Rosenthal officiating at a pet-blessing service.

Various guesses about the contents of the basket: “Fr Pusey enjoyed preaching on the Cats of the Apostles” (Richard Barnes); “I think she’s frightened of your dog collar, Father” (Patrick Irwin); “My dad thinks your sermons are a dog’s breakfast — so I’ve brought you a dog” (John Saxbee); and “Just what sort of spider is it?” and “Don’t worry, Father: I carry the antidote for snake bites with me” (both Chris Coupe).

Maybe the animal is no longer in the basket: “One of the small furry animals seemed to have escaped and be crawling over the vicar’s top lip” (Alexander Faludy); “‘Well, I can’t see any cat.’ ‘It’s on your head, Father’” (Peter Richbell); and “With one bound the black cat was free and disguised as a biretta” (Richard Barnes).

In the holy-mysteries section: “Oh, I see: this is the new way for doing the ablutions’’ (Peter Walker); “It was certainly a novel use for the offertory box” (Richard Hough); “It was taking Fr Postlethwaite time to get used to the new ciborium” (Richard Thornburgh); and “This automatic lavabo will never catch on” (Valerie Budd).

Tales of unexpected: “Ow! You said it was trained to kiss ecclesiastical rings!” (Corin Child); “Oh, she likes you: that’s a friendly nip” (Valerie Budd); “Could someone please tell him he is blessing a Hoover?” (Vicky Lundberg).

Ascribing quite unworthy sentiments to an innocent cleric: “As he was laying on hands and blessing it, he wondered if he could surreptitiously remove a few tufts of fur, to make a new pompom for his hat” (Alison Rollin); “Lovely. Please grill it for me” (Brian Simmons); “Very kind of you, Mrs Jones; but as it’s Friday, I should be having fish” (Katie Foot).

There was a strong batch of runners-up: “I’m not sure those are allowed in the country” (Chris Coupe); “At last the parishioners had a plan to get Father treated: a gin and tonic has been placed in the basket to entice him in” (Alex Summers); “As handwarmers went, it was a little cumbersome, but it did the trick” (Russ Bravo); “Fr Schroedinger was sure the cat was alive — or was it dead?” (Stephen Disley); and “The rep was very persuasive, but he was still unsure about solar- powered hand-dryers” (Richard Martin).

There were two winners, each of whom will receive Fairtrade chocolate from our sponsors Divine (divinechocolate.com).

 

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