This week's competition
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(above). Entries must reach us by Friday 13 March.
by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
by post (postcards only) to: Caption
Competition, Church Times, 3rd
floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane London EC1Y
0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Last week's competition
ANIMALS are always popular in this competition, not least
because they come with a fund of jokes. Thus we had plenty of
variations of "After preaching four times in a single day,
the bishop was feeling a little horse" (Philip Evans); and
"OK, fine - as long as it remains a stable
relationship" (Richard Crockett); as well as entries like
"It was amazing how many sermon ideas came straight from
the horse's mouth" (Vivien Moores); and "Well, it
makes a change from flogging a dead one" (John
Saxbee).
Bishop Saxbee was one of those who recognised the Bishop of
Bradford, Toby Howarth, and made the link with City's recent FA Cup
run: "It's working for Bradford City, so Bishop Toby
thought he'd lend a hand to another rank outsider." He was
joined by Alistair Helm: "Why the long face? Bradford beat
Sunderland 2-0."
Congratulations to Sue Chick for spotting something that others
overlooked: "Nimrod was determined to break the record for
holding an egg in his mouth without breaking it, and nothing the
Bishop did was going to move him."
Being a little more negative: "The Bishop realised his
mistake when he saw the colour of the horse: he had signed up with
the bank that likes to say 'neigh'" (Sandra Tracey);
"Let our communication be Yea, Yea; Neigh, Neigh"
(Jonathan Haigh); and "The Bishop thought 'love your neigh
bower' a much better translation" (Robert Shooter).
Honestly!
A couple at random: "The Bishop certainly had Thomas
Equinas off pat" (Jo Saunders); "Having enjoyed
the Bishop's mitre, Dobbin fancied the stock for dessert"
(Rosemary Corfield).
Among the many entries about racing: "Believe me, I've
had a divine revelation: Balaam's Ass in the 1.30 at Kempton is a
snip at 5/1" (Tim Robinson); "The Bishop's plan to
fund the new roof with the outcome of the 3.30 at Newmarket seemed
risky at best" (Vicky Lundberg); "Beginning with
the profits, he explained the importance of the result of the 2.30
for the diocesan budget" (Edward Mynors); "The
meeting had been brokered by accountants from The Urban
Regeneration Fund (TURF)" (Richard Martin); and
"Why is there always a crook near a racehorse?"
(Chris Coupe).
And among the in-jokes: "Just let me out of here, and
then the Forward in Faith guys can shut the door. . ."
(Christopher Wain). We see that the Green report is going to
provide plenty of material in weeks to come: "I'm so glad I
chose the Equine Management module on my MBA, thought the
Bishop" (John Bowman); and "Pondering rebelliously
how many courses he might be sent on in the future, the bishop
muttered 'Courses for horses, not bishops'" (Christopher
Tookey).
Among our favourites were: "The Bishop announces that
the Godfather will still have a part to play in the new baptismal
rite" (Richard Barnes); "After the Corleones'
message to Jack Woltz, the local bishop offers comfort to the
bereaved" (Philip Evans); "The Bishop hid his
disappointment well: he'd thought they'd suggested a pitcher at The
Nag's Head" (Alison Rollin); and "In the latest
Dick Francis, it is the bishop who catches the crook" (Tom
Corfield).
Our winners receive Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by
Divine (see their website for details of work with cocoa farmers,
and also news of their Easter offerings: www.divinechocolate.com).