Caption competition

by
27 March 2015

Too late Mrs Smith realised that her cup of "special" tea had been given to the vicar George Frost The Dean practises his Elton John tribute act David Elkington

Too late Mrs Smith realised that her cup of "special" tea had been given to the vicar George Frost The Dean practises his Elton John tribute act Dav...

Next week's competition 

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 10 April. The winner or winners will enjoy a selection of Divine Easter eggs (details below)

You can enter

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times, 3rd floor
Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG.

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

 

Last week's competition

CANDID photos are regularly turning up on the Church Times email these days, marked for the caption competition. We welcome submissions sent with the consent of those who appear. Well, it's only fair.

A few entries at random: "The rector's plan to parachute into the patronal festival outdoor eucharist was causing concern" (Patrick Irwin); "Learning the actions to processional hymns is now part of the curriculum at Staggers" (John Radford); "Whoops! Looks like we missed the Rapture" (Chris Coupe); and "A drone? Surely not: that's what comes before the Creed on Sundays" (John Saxbee).

Also, we had: "Following the consecration of the first woman bishop, flying pigs became a common sight over Southwark" (John Bowman); "Stands the church clock at ten to three?" (Patrick Irwin); "New in the Church Times -a spot-the-ball competition" (Janet Stockton); "As the Vicar told his tale, the Curate, at first just ghostly, turned a whiter shade of pale" (Richard Barnes); and "They suddenly realised that, from his new office high in the Shard, the Dean could see everything" (Edward Mynors).

Two similar-themed entries: "If ever our friends at Divine want an idea for a box lid for a selection of dark and white chocolates. . ." (Ray Morris); and "In the whisky business, it is felt that advertising needs to move on from cuddly little Scotties and Westies" (Richard Crockett).

Nearly all our readers, though, chose a dance theme: "The diocesan Showaddywaddy tribute duo never missed a chance to run through their 'Three Steps to Heaven' routine" (Nicholas Court); "When George asked Henry for a Twirl, he meant the chocolate bar, not a dance" (Vivien Moores); "We've got the outfits. We've got the moves. Let's get down to the altar party" (Paul Taylor); "The new Lent course on 'Line-dancing for stressed clergy' was proving very popular" (Michael Foster); "George and Jason practise their moves for St Vitus's Day" (John Saxbee); and "8 p.m. BBC1: Strictly Come Liturgical Dancing" (John D. R. Lloyd).

A few more non-dance entries: "When the organist pulls out all the stops, it's that tower that wobbles" (Russ Bravo); "It's always a good idea to see which way the wind is blowing in the Church of England" (Richard Hough); "Hang on to that kite - it's just about to hit the spire!" (Lynda Sebbage); and "Yes, I do remember the Birdie Song, but hurry up, we'll be late for mass" (Sue Chick).

Among our favourites, we found ourselves laughing at the plain silliness of : "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's God!!!!!!!!!!" (David Wheeler, with his punctuation). We also liked: "Year 10 found the 'Dad dancing' embarrassing, and it did nothing to encourage them to attend the new-style service" (Vicky Lundberg); "The Vicar had seen Prince Harry try this one on Usain Bolt. Perhaps this time for once he'd get to the after-service sticky buns before the Verger" (Nicholas Court); "News of the Rapture came at an inconvenient time for Father John: he was already late for a PCC meeting" (Christopher Tookey); and "That's where the lead used to be" (Chris Coupe).

Two winners again, this week. Each will receive a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, kindly supplied by Divine (http://divinechocolate.com).

Despite their best efforts, it was generally felt that Sunday Morning Fever was going to be a disappointing sequel for John Travolta fans

Estelle Wilson

The sign language for Ascension Day is pretty self-explanatory

Edward Mynors

Next time, the winner or winners will enjoy a selection of Divine Easter eggs. Divine is the only Fairtrade chocolate company that is also co-owned by cocoa farmers. Kuapa Kokoo, a co-operative of 80,000 cocoa farmers in Ghana, benefits not only from the Fairtrade premium on the sale of their beans, but also receives a 45 per cent share of Divine's distributable profits.

All Divine products carry the Fairtrade mark. This is a guarantee that farmers have been paid a secure minimum price, plus an extra social-premium payment to invest in their own community programmes, long-term contracts, and decent health-and-safety conditions.

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (top of page). Entries must reach us by Friday 10 April.

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