Next week's competition
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above).
Entries must reach us by Friday 10 April. The winner or winners
will enjoy a selection of Divine Easter eggs (details below)
You can enter
by email to: firstname.lastname@example.org
by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times,
Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG.
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Last week's competition
CANDID photos are regularly turning up on the Church
Times email these days, marked for the caption competition. We
welcome submissions sent with the consent of those who appear.
Well, it's only fair.
A few entries at random: "The rector's plan to parachute
into the patronal festival outdoor eucharist was causing
concern" (Patrick Irwin); "Learning the actions to
processional hymns is now part of the curriculum at
Staggers" (John Radford); "Whoops! Looks like we
missed the Rapture" (Chris Coupe); and "A drone?
Surely not: that's what comes before the Creed on Sundays"
Also, we had: "Following the consecration of the first
woman bishop, flying pigs became a common sight over
Southwark" (John Bowman); "Stands the church clock
at ten to three?" (Patrick Irwin); "New in the
Church Times -a spot-the-ball competition" (Janet
Stockton); "As the Vicar told his tale, the Curate, at
first just ghostly, turned a whiter shade of pale"
(Richard Barnes); and "They suddenly realised that, from
his new office high in the Shard, the Dean could see
everything" (Edward Mynors).
Two similar-themed entries: "If ever our friends at
Divine want an idea for a box lid for a selection of dark and white
chocolates. . ." (Ray Morris); and "In the whisky
business, it is felt that advertising needs to move on from cuddly
little Scotties and Westies" (Richard Crockett).
Nearly all our readers, though, chose a dance theme:
"The diocesan Showaddywaddy tribute duo never missed a
chance to run through their 'Three Steps to Heaven'
routine" (Nicholas Court); "When George asked
Henry for a Twirl, he meant the chocolate bar, not a
dance" (Vivien Moores); "We've got the outfits.
We've got the moves. Let's get down to the altar party"
(Paul Taylor); "The new Lent course on 'Line-dancing for
stressed clergy' was proving very popular" (Michael
Foster); "George and Jason practise their moves for St
Vitus's Day" (John Saxbee); and "8 p.m. BBC1:
Strictly Come Liturgical Dancing" (John D. R. Lloyd).
A few more non-dance entries: "When the organist pulls
out all the stops, it's that tower that wobbles" (Russ
Bravo); "It's always a good idea to see which way the wind
is blowing in the Church of England" (Richard Hough);
"Hang on to that kite - it's just about to hit the
spire!" (Lynda Sebbage); and "Yes, I do remember
the Birdie Song, but hurry up, we'll be late for mass"
Among our favourites, we found ourselves laughing at the plain
silliness of : "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's
God!!!!!!!!!!" (David Wheeler, with his punctuation). We
also liked: "Year 10 found the 'Dad dancing' embarrassing,
and it did nothing to encourage them to attend the new-style
service" (Vicky Lundberg); "The Vicar had seen
Prince Harry try this one on Usain Bolt. Perhaps this time for once
he'd get to the after-service sticky buns before the
Verger" (Nicholas Court); "News of the Rapture
came at an inconvenient time for Father John: he was already late
for a PCC meeting" (Christopher Tookey); and
"That's where the lead used to be" (Chris
Two winners again, this week. Each will receive a prize of
Fairtrade chocolate, kindly supplied by Divine (http://divinechocolate.com).
Despite their best efforts, it was generally
felt that Sunday Morning Fever was going to be a disappointing
sequel for John Travolta fans
The sign language for Ascension Day is pretty
Next time, the winner or winners will enjoy a selection of
Divine Easter eggs. Divine is the only Fairtrade chocolate company
that is also co-owned by cocoa farmers. Kuapa Kokoo, a co-operative
of 80,000 cocoa farmers in Ghana, benefits not only from the
Fairtrade premium on the sale of their beans, but also receives a
45 per cent share of Divine's distributable profits.
All Divine products carry the Fairtrade mark. This is a
guarantee that farmers have been paid a secure minimum price, plus
an extra social-premium payment to invest in their own community
programmes, long-term contracts, and decent health-and-safety
Have a go at our next
caption-competition picture (top of page). Entries must
reach us by Friday 10 April.