Caption competition

by
23 October 2015

PA

IN CASE anyone was wondering, our last picture showed the Chancellor, George Osborne, with Dan Marino, a former American-football star. Mr Osborne wants a team from the US league, the NFL, to be based permanently in London.

John Saxbee summed up the general mood: “Take it, Mr Marino: it’s a gift from the England team. They won’t be needing it any more.” Also Richard Strudwick: “Go on, take it: we’ve no use for it now”;Richard Martin: “I’m English. What are you supposed to do with this?” (could be a reference to either ball); and Patrick Irwin: “We are going to loan this ball to the British Museum for the Celts exhibition, as a symbol of the rugby-playing nations of our islands.”

Exchequer jokes (if that’s not an oxymoron) were attempted: “As Chancellor, I am well-practised at giving with one hand and taking back with the other” (Richard Hough); “But what’s he taking away with his left hand?” (John Appleby); “So much for in-flation, Chancellor” (Chris Coupe); and “And from this one I’m hoping to hatch my new plan for the economy” (Tom Page).

In no particular order: “Putting ostrich DNA into the golden goose was not entirely successful” (Christopher Wilson); “Please don’t sign it, George. I want to auction it for charity” (Dennis Garland); “Perhaps the Director of Religious Broadcasting was unwise to ask his most junior researcher to find two experts to discuss miraculous conversions” (Ray Morris); “There’s a national crisis. We think we need a replacement at Number 11” (Corin Child); “Tory minister finds more conventional use for deceased-pig products” (Alexander Faludy); and “Number 10 worth a try?” (Janet Stockton).

Two winners this week, one particularly prescient, given that it was written before the weekend matches. Both receive Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (www.divinechocolate.com).

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