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Caption competition

22 May 2015


Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 15 May.

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 15 May.

THE last caption competition featured the Pope and a hand-made drone. Several entries were on the same lines: "Pope launches the Vaticam Quadcopter, from which no secrets are hidden" (Richard Barnes); "Compliance with the principles of Humanae Vitae was to be monitored using the latest technology" (John Lloyd); "With a squadron of these, I can see who is flouting Humanae Vitae" (Edward Mynors); and "The Holy Father seemed pleased with the new heresy detector machine" (Chris Coupe).

Or maybe its use was more sinister: "You mean that if I press this button I can get rid of half the Curia?" (Ray Morris); "Something from the Inquisition, perhaps" (Richard Hough); "Keep it to yourself, my son, but any member of the Curia who opposes my secret plan to allow married priests, women priests, openly homosexual priests, and the recognition of Anglican orders will have to sit on one of these" (David Hill); and "If you press button T, you can taser the butler" (Eric Lishman).

Other readers were not so sure about the object: "I may not know what it is, but I'll bless it anyway" (Chris Coupe); "Well, this is the most sophisticated divining rod I have ever had the chance to play with" (Ben Woods); and "The campaign to canonise Heath Robinson gets a welcome boost" (John Saxbee).

The obligatory puns: "Buzz off" (George Frost); and "I have patented it as the Halo-copter" (David Hill).

A few at random: "With the shortage of priests, it's a cost-effective way of hearing confessions and distributing mass" (Richard Barnes); "The suits look worried: Beware of geeks bearing gifts" (John Saxbee); "I like this new automated aspergillum, but do you have the matching aspersorium?" (Chris Coupe); "In Argentina, we use them for rounding up cattle" (Patrick Irwin); and "I agree. Using this is probably our best chance of getting hold of the Church Times chocolate" (Richard Stonor).

Also: "No, sadly the Roman Catholic Church doesn't have flying bishops" (Sue Chick); "A first papal lunar landing comes a step closer" (John Saxbee); "They all waited with concern, as Graham pointed out that the Pope had it upside down" (Vicky Lundberg); "I build them during your sermons" (Eric Lishman); "Mr Putin told me that it was for trimming borders" (Patrick Irwin).

Among our favourites: "We found it in our garden, but it had no 'helpless babe' in it. Mum is going to write to a man called Mr Kendrick to complain" (William Petts); "Pass this to Bishop Francisco. He drones better than most" (Bob Gillies); "Hold on to this, Papa, and experience the ascension for yourself" (Dennis Abbott).

Once again, we could not choose between two entries, and so have awarded two batches of Fairtrade chocolate, with thanks once again to Divine for sponsoring the competition (www.divinechocolate.com).


Have a go at our next caption-competition picture, featuring the Bishop of Worcester. Entries must reach us by Friday 29 May

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk 

by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times, 3rd floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093



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