THE last caption competition featured the Pope and a hand-made
drone. Several entries were on the same lines: "Pope
launches the Vaticam Quadcopter, from which no secrets are
hidden" (Richard Barnes); "Compliance with the
principles of Humanae Vitae
was to be monitored using the latest technology"
(John Lloyd); "With a squadron of these, I can see who is
flouting Humanae
Vitae" (Edward Mynors); and
"The Holy Father seemed pleased with the new heresy
detector machine" (Chris Coupe).
Or maybe its use was more sinister: "You mean that if I
press this button I can get rid of half the Curia?" (Ray
Morris); "Something from the Inquisition,
perhaps" (Richard Hough); "Keep it to yourself, my
son, but any member of the Curia who opposes my secret plan to
allow married priests, women priests, openly homosexual priests,
and the recognition of Anglican orders will have to sit on one of
these" (David Hill); and "If you press button T,
you can taser the butler" (Eric Lishman).
Other readers were not so sure about the object: "I may
not know what it is, but I'll bless it anyway" (Chris
Coupe); "Well, this is the most sophisticated divining rod
I have ever had the chance to play with" (Ben Woods); and
"The campaign to canonise Heath Robinson gets a welcome
boost" (John Saxbee).
The obligatory puns: "Buzz off" (George Frost);
and "I have patented it as the Halo-copter" (David
Hill).
A few at random: "With the shortage of priests, it's a
cost-effective way of hearing confessions and distributing
mass" (Richard Barnes); "The suits look worried:
Beware of geeks bearing gifts" (John Saxbee); "I
like this new automated aspergillum, but do you have the matching
aspersorium?" (Chris Coupe); "In Argentina, we use
them for rounding up cattle" (Patrick Irwin); and
"I agree. Using this is probably our best chance of getting
hold of the Church Times
chocolate" (Richard Stonor).
Also: "No, sadly the Roman Catholic Church doesn't have
flying bishops" (Sue Chick); "A first papal lunar
landing comes a step closer" (John Saxbee); "They
all waited with concern, as Graham pointed out that the Pope had it
upside down" (Vicky Lundberg); "I build them
during your sermons" (Eric Lishman); "Mr Putin
told me that it was for trimming borders" (Patrick
Irwin).
Among our favourites: "We found it in our garden, but it
had no 'helpless babe' in it. Mum is going to write to a man called
Mr Kendrick to complain" (William Petts); "Pass
this to Bishop Francisco. He drones better than most" (Bob
Gillies); "Hold on to this, Papa, and experience the
ascension for yourself" (Dennis Abbott).
Once again, we could not choose between two entries, and so have
awarded two batches of Fairtrade chocolate, with thanks once again
to Divine for sponsoring the competition
(www.divinechocolate.com).
Have a go at our next caption-competition
picture, featuring the Bishop of Worcester. Entries must reach
us by Friday 29 May
by
email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
by post (postcards only) to: Caption
Competition, Church Times, 3rd floor, Invicta
House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093