Our next competition
Have a go at our next caption-competition
picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 14
November.
by email to:
captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
by post (postcards only) to:
Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Our last competition
Leonard had ordered the Complete Resources for Year
B
Richard Barnes
The bishop had actually asked his chaplains to vest him
appropriately for a priory blessing
Ray Morris
THE last caption-competition photo inspired many high-grade
entries. The idea of protection loomed large. But protection from
what? "The visiting preacher was taking precautions to
avoid being stung by any criticism of the sermon" (Michael
Foster); "Having complained frequently about the lavish use
of incense, the choir was finally forced to take more drastic
avoidance measures" (Alison Rollin); "The altar
party rehearsed their precautions against contact with a woman
bishop" (Edward Mynors); "After last time, the
holiday-club helpers were taking no chances" (Russ Bravo);
and "The vicar and wardens prepared before the announcement
that collection bags would incur a charge of an extra 5p"
(George Frost).
Perhaps readers should not be exposed to all the bee puns at
once: "There was a sting in the tail as the new Beeshop was
unveiled" (John Radford); "As the choir sang 'Bee
still. . .', the Vicar suffered a vestment malfunction"
(Richard Barnes); "Well, Michael, if you're sure this is
the best way to illus-trate the bee-attitudes" (Sue
Chick). That is probably enough, for now.
Some random entries: "The vestments for the new women
bishops turned out to be more conservative than expected"
and "The proposed new procedure for remarried Catholics
wishing to take communion" (both George Frost);
"Do you know? My college principal never
mentioned this aspect of rural ministry" (Chris
Coupe); "Preparing the Homepride flour grader for
ordination" (Carolyn Lewis);and "Nigel considered
himself middle-of-the-road Anglican, but all
ordinands were required to attend thurible practice"
(Simon Filsell).
More bees: "Preparations were under way for the vicar's
Beeatification" (George Frost); "Preparing for
Compline at the beehives: 'bee sober, bee vigilant'"
(Michael Watts); "After the success of the WI calendar, the
Mothers' Union decide to make a B-movie" (Janet
Williams).
And the bee-related puns: "The lull before the
swarm" (Graham Summers); "It might have been my
tutor's bad typing skills that led me away from patristic study
into apiaristic study" (Richard Hough); "The new
incumbent was surprised to find himself part of a sting
operation" (Mike Peatman); "Since the new vicar's
arrival, there was quite a buzz about life at St
Margaret's" (Alexander Faludy); "In an attempt to
increase numbers, St Luke's advertised that the congregation could
earn nectar points at the mass" (James Betteridge).
Then it was off to Cumbria: "The celebrant prepared with
extra care for the St Bees' patronal festival" (Ted
Harrison); and "As he prepared for his institution, it
never occurred to the new priest at St Bees that the congregation
might not share his sense of humour" (Christopher
Tookey).
We particularly liked: "Thank Heaven, thought Fr David,
Messy Church only takes place once a month" (Diana Jones);
"Preparations for the first wedding in space had yet to
address the problem of skirts and
weightlessness" (Jane Avery); and "The classic
error: beekeeping in an open-bottomed alb. You only ever try it
once" (Tom Brazier).
There was an unusually high number of potential winners this
week, but we find it hard to resist a liturgy/calendar joke. And
there was a fine pun (not a phrase we employ often). The honours,
and the Divine chocolate prizes (divinechocolate.com) are therefore shared.
by email to:
captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
by post (postcards only) to:
Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(below). Entries must reach us by Friday 14 November.