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Caption competition

by
07 November 2014

PA

"No, dear, St Michael's Mount goes east of Penzance and west of the Lizard" Jonathan Haigh   "'Tis time you tried a traditional pasty, my luvver - but not with a brush" Peter Walker

"No, dear, St Michael's Mount goes east of Penzance and west of the Lizard" Jonathan Haigh   "'Tis time you tried a traditional pasty, my luvver...

Our next competition

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 14 November.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to:
Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House  
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

 

Our last competition

Leonard had ordered the Complete Resources for Year B
Richard Barnes

The bishop had actually asked his chaplains to vest him appropriately for a priory blessing
Ray Morris


THE last caption-competition photo inspired many high-grade entries. The idea of protection loomed large. But protection from what? "The visiting preacher was taking precautions to avoid being stung by any criticism of the sermon" (Michael Foster); "Having complained frequently about the lavish use of incense, the choir was finally forced to take more drastic avoidance measures" (Alison Rollin); "The altar party rehearsed their precautions against contact with a woman bishop" (Edward Mynors); "After last time, the holiday-club helpers were taking no chances" (Russ Bravo); and "The vicar and wardens prepared before the announcement that collection bags would incur a charge of an extra 5p" (George Frost).

Perhaps readers should not be exposed to all the bee puns at once: "There was a sting in the tail as the new Beeshop was unveiled" (John Radford); "As the choir sang 'Bee still. . .', the Vicar suffered a vestment malfunction" (Richard Barnes); "Well, Michael, if you're sure this is the best way to illus-trate the bee-attitudes" (Sue Chick). That is probably enough, for now.

Some random entries: "The vestments for the new women bishops turned out to be more conservative than expected" and "The proposed new procedure for remarried Catholics wishing to take communion" (both George Frost); "Do you know? My college principal never mentioned this aspect of rural ministry" (Chris Coupe); "Preparing the Homepride flour grader for ordination" (Carolyn Lewis);and "Nigel considered himself middle-of-the-road Anglican, but all ordinands were required to attend thurible practice" (Simon Filsell).

More bees: "Preparations were under way for the vicar's Beeatification" (George Frost); "Preparing for Compline at the beehives: 'bee sober, bee vigilant'" (Michael Watts); "After the success of the WI calendar, the Mothers' Union decide to make a B-movie" (Janet Williams).

And the bee-related puns: "The lull before the swarm" (Graham Summers); "It might have been my tutor's bad typing skills that led me away from patristic study into apiaristic study" (Richard Hough); "The new incumbent was surprised to find himself part of a sting operation" (Mike Peatman); "Since the new vicar's arrival, there was quite a buzz about life at St Margaret's" (Alexander Faludy); "In an attempt to increase numbers, St Luke's advertised that the congregation could earn nectar points at the mass" (James Betteridge).

Then it was off to Cumbria: "The celebrant prepared with extra care for the St Bees' patronal festival" (Ted Harrison); and "As he prepared for his institution, it never occurred to the new priest at St Bees that the congregation might not share his sense of humour" (Christopher Tookey).

We particularly liked: "Thank Heaven, thought Fr David, Messy Church only takes place once a month" (Diana Jones); "Preparations for the first wedding in space had yet to address the problem of skirts and weightlessness" (Jane Avery); and "The classic error: beekeeping in an open-bottomed alb. You only ever try it once" (Tom Brazier).

There was an unusually high number of potential winners this week, but we find it hard to resist a liturgy/calendar joke. And there was a fine pun (not a phrase we employ often). The honours, and the Divine chocolate prizes (divinechocolate.com) are therefore shared.

 

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to:
Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House  
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (below). Entries must reach us by Friday 14 November.

Forthcoming Events

1 December 2020
Theology Slam competition opens
The competition for those aged 18-30 is back with a focus on the pandemic    Find out more

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